Yikes. Well, being out in public on its own is pretty anxiety-inducing for me but I go every day no matter where it is, just to try to get accustomed to it. In a few days a band I really like is playing here, and well.. we have our tickets [my bf and i], but also about five or six of his friends from his hometown are coming to see this band play too and I've never met them before, and I'm nervous about that. I mean, we're there to see the band anyway so we won't be talking much, but still he has a habit of ignoring me when we go out to a thing where his friends are and after a few times of that happening I just stopped going out with him because .. well I'm shy and I'm a nervous person. Ergh. Just one of the things to happen this week that is going to be stressful. There are two more events I should be attending, both concerts my brother is playing at.. and then there's the dentist next week. I use Rescue Remedy to calm me down but sometimes it doesnt' have a good enough effect. I guess I just have to breathe and realise it's not a big deal, they are just people like me, they are probably awkward too. But man, I really feel like there's all this pressure on me since they are good friends of his and I'm the token girlfriend of 4 years that doesn't talk much. I don't know. I hate making a big deal of things like this. Sometimes I wish I drank more but I don't really like drinking that much. Ramblerambleramble....
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emmas
