My strange journey with Mirtazapine

[Monostich]

Hey folks,

Hope you're all well. I haven't posted any updates on my experiences with Mirtazapine for a long time but have some strange news.

I was prescribed Mirtazapine in April 2011. I bascially broke down in the doctor's office after being on 20mg of Paroxetine for many years which didn't seem to be working anymore (it was a fantastic drug to begin with for me but for some reason just stopped working and made me feel constantly anxious)

I dropped out of work. I was drinking alcohol every night. Things were gloomy, very gloomy.

My main gripe was not being able to sleep without drinking a few beers or glasses of wine and this couldn't go on anymore. There was also 2 occassions where I felt suicidal.

So, I ended up telling the doctor about my problems.

The doctor prescribed me Mirtazapine (15mg) and asked me to go back after 2 weeks. The medication was ok to begin with, I felt no side effects and it definitely helped me stop drinking; which was fantastic. It didn't make me feel "happy" but the anxiety went away.

I went back after 2 weeks and she upped it to 30mg. I didn't argue, I never do with the docs - I take what I'm given in the hope that they know best.

I took the 30mg from May to December 2011. I felt good on it to begin with, my sleep was (and still is) cured, I got back into work (albeit a part time one) and life seemed to be better.

Then problems began around late October onwards. I developed extremely obsessive thoughts, something I had never encountered before. And these obsessive thoughts consisted of silly things, like wires being out of place behind the tv and other ridiculous things. But these thoughts DOMINATED my day-to-day life. If a thought went away about one thing, I'd then develop thoughts about another thing. And this went on and on and on. I looked forward to bed time every day just to get some peace.

On top of this, I started to feel detached from my wife and family. I didn't want her touching me in bed, I used to dread her getting home from work. And I've always had a very good relationship with my wife and love her dearly.

Then there was feeling like a zombie. The panic attacks had dissapeared. Completely. I could go anywhere or do anything but I felt absolutely no emotions. Didn't feel happy, didn't feel sad, couldn't even care if the football team I worship won or lost. Nothing.

So, around Christmas time, after a long chat with my wife, I decided to go back down to 15mg a day without even consulting my GP. I had nothing to lose, my life had become worthless. I constantly felt emotionless, and the obsessive thoughts were ruining my life.

I went back down to 15mg a day by cutting the tablets in half, and started doing this on New Year's Day (January 1st). Within the first few days, I immediately noticed that my mood had lifted but this could have been placebo effect. By the end of the second week, the obsessive thoughts had completely dissapeared. I have more energy again. But I also felt anxiety again and I'm avoiding things like the dentist or having to go to visit friends because of this, although it's nowhere near as bad as it was this-time-last-year.

I don't know what I'm setting out to achieve with this thread/post. Generally, my mood has been a lot better and I feel close to my wife again. The thoughts have gone, I no longer care about out-of-place wires behind the tv

I'm even feeling things going on in my head. It's strange, but I feel like I did when Paroxetine was starting to work back when I first started to take it. For example, I was laying on the sofa a few days ago and was filled with euphoria. I NEVER felt anything like this when I was on the 30mg. That amount just turned me into a zombie.

What is going on? Was I over-medicated before? I've read that 30-45mg is the "therapeutic level". But I'm feeling better on the 15mg in general and the anxiety I was feeling when I first reduced the dose a few weeks back, is slowly dissapearing (touch wood).

[Belleblue]

Hi Monostitch - it's nice to hear from you again
Your story is very interesting. I too feel much better on 15mg. During my first bout with mirt last year I tried increasing to 30mg a couple of times and just experienced that strange numbing effect you've described so well. I wasn't on it long enough to get the obsessive thoughts though... but I've read that it's not uncommon with mirt. This time round I'm sticking with 15 and doing well so far thank goodness.

I really don't believe there is such a thing as a 'therapeutic dose' for Mirtazapine - from what I've observed on here and elsewhere, many folk seem to do very well on the lower doses of 7.5mg and 15mg.

Glad you're doing well again.

Take care.
Belle x

[JT69]

Hi monostich

Good that you posted your story....sorry you had such a bad time with the higher dose.

Its obvious its much better to learn from peoples individual storys and that why this site is such a godsend!!


I for one only now take 7.5mg...I did go up to 30mg for a period of time whilst on this med but didnt expereince any of the things you describe...I also take pregabalin for anxiety and the conbination seems to work well for me (touch wood for now).

I'm glad you are doing better again now and hope this continues for you.

Take care
Jo.x

[Monostich]

Thanks for the responses guys.

Unfortunately, I still get too many bad days. I never get the really good days that I had on Paroxetine and Fluoxetine before that - I find it really difficult to wake up in the morning and then when I do, I basically spend my time obsessing about how I feel.

I stopped taking Paroextine because after 5 years or so, it stopped working for me for some reason.

After a long discussion with my wife today, I've decided to get back on a SSRI. They have worked for me very well in the past, all Mirtazapine does is help me sleep. I still feel 'foggy' and down a lot of the time.

Citalopram is something I really want to try - do I just ask the doctor for this? I need something stimulating. Mirtazapine doesn't feel like that it actually does anything - it's the strangest drug that I've ever taken, that's for sure :(

[Monostich]

Today I have woken up feeling great. Really peaceful and mind is at ease. Could this be the 15mg balancing out after 4 weeks? I am so confused as to what I should do right now.

[ElizabethJane]

I have been taking 45mg mirtazapine for about four years now. During that period I have come off it briefly and taken 30mg. I take this with lithium. I think that it is a matter of working with your doctor or psychiatrist to find out which dose or combination works best for you? There are no quick fixes and it might be that you function better on the lower dose. It took me a while to get used to 45mg and sometimes I wonder what it would new like to reduce it. I had horrendous side effects trying to come off it. I'm sure that the two meds balance out each other. I have been on lithium for about thirteen years so it is difficult to imagine a life without them. My life without meds was virtually non existent. EJ.

[Monostich]

Thanks EJ,

Nice to hear from you btw

I'm at a loose end folks. I'm scared of quitting the Mirt and trying an SSRI again because I just know I'll go back to not sleeping.

On the flip side, I know that I'm not feeling right. I constantly ask myself if I'm feeling alright and this is a sign of depression for me. Plus I'm anxious a lot of the time.

Just don't know what to do - and getting an appointment with my usual GP can take weeks.

[Belleblue]

Mono quite a few people on the forum combine an SSRI (mostly citalopram) with Mirtazapine. My own GP prescribed this combination for me as she said that both mirt and cit had "a symbiotic relationship". I have to tell you though that I didn't add the citalopram in until last week - and I only lasted three days! I'm doing well on the mirt so I'm not that bothered really. I just can't hack the SSRIs as they make me feel sooo ill, but you'll most probably have a positive experience as you've been on SSRIs sucessfully in the past.... what have you got to lose?? Oldtime had a good thread going on this combo by the way.

I was also wondering if you're getting any sort of therapy to help you sort out what's going on? I say that because sometimes therapy takes up where the AD stops, if you get my meaning.

Take care now.
Belle x

[Monostich]

Thanks Belle

Since about 1pm today, I have felt in such a good mood, work has been really enjoyable (first time in MONTHS) and I am feeling very calm and relaxed - slightly eurphoric at times!

I have got stuff done today that I've been putting off for months. I hope and pray this is a sign of things to come.

Belle - in regards to combining Mirt with Cit, I went to my GP about this back in September last year and she said she wouldn't prescribe me another anti D to take with the Mirt because of 'Seratonin Syndrome' even though I've read on various forums that many other people are getting this mixture.

I'd love to give that a go to be honest. The Mirt makes me feel sleepy and relaxed in the evenings and I know I'd miss it if I changed back to an SSRI. But if the Cit gives me that little lift in the day time then I'd really like to test the water with the combination but if the GP has already said "no", what are my options?

[nicola1980]

Hi i also asked for the combo of cit and mirt and 2 doctors have told me NO yet ive read on here of so many people being on them, i even know someone who takes the combo?? i did stress all this to the doctors but still they said no and that only a physchatrist should prescribe 2 AD's together?? im currently on 30mg of cit but my sleep is rubbish xx