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  1. #1
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    Feb 2012
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    80

    intrusive obsessive thoughts....even in my sleep, do i need meds again???

    hello,
    new here.... although far from new on the anxiety, obsessive, intrusive thoughts front......and just needed to talk really.
    Im mid twentys but feel as if I have always had anxiety since a child....although i diddnt realised until diagnoised at age 20!!!
    I have always been described as a worrier....as a child i would lie in bed crying, fearing death....unable to think of anything else.
    As the years went by i would worry about loved ones constantly....imagining scenarios that may happen (horrible, hurtful things that made the world seem such a scary place).
    Aged 21/22 things got really bad with my obsessing and thinking driving me mad....i felt like i could no longer control my thoughts..... the doctor prescribed paroxitine which worked a treat, and therapy which was an awful situation that actually made me more anxious.
    In a bid to cure myself i removed all anxiety triggers from my life, certain friends, scenarios, situations and alchol. The shame of drinking the next day would mean days of panic attacks and thinking thinking thinking what exactly i had/hadnt done. so recently i decided at a good place now so would stop the meds. my gp was fine with this, but now anxiety is returning. the thoughts, the insecurities, the obsessive questioning in my own head, the tears and fear and those awful hot flashes of panic that start in my hands and shoot through my body.
    these symptoms are now happening in my dreams..... i dream im drunk and have shamed myself and the cycle of worry questioning begins. i could cry writing this as im scared im getting ill again..... should i just go back on the meds... they did really help??? is it normal to have anxiety while you sleep? my therapist told me i had far too many seperate issues from phobias to ocd to general anxiety for her to treat me and would need referal..... feeling like my mental health will haunt me forever. im a happy go lucky person and just dont understand why im like this.

    excuse long post xx

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    1,838

    Re: intrusive obsessive thoughts....even in my sleep, do i need meds again???

    hi
    I dont think meds cure the problems , they mask it... and when you come off you can be back at square one im afraid - Meds do help people live day to day easier, and perhaps maybe you should reconsider them... but again be aware of what happens when you come off them again...
    i was on meds for 9yrs, i came off them 6 months ago... I had no idea what would happen and if id be back to how it all was 9yrs ago... but i decided i needed to deal with whatever it was without meds... i didnt want to be on meds for life.... i think im better off them than i was on them... i do have more anxiety now than when on meds, but im prepared to beat it the natural way, with diet, exercise , vitamins, and most importantly positive thinking!
    it is normal for anxiety to follow over into our sleep as well... it happens to me too... dreams, waking up with heart racing... but i just ignore it, and say yeah watever, im going back to sleep...
    perhaps you should reconsider trying counselling again?
    __________________
    .....when all is said and done and we come to the end of our lifes journey, posessions will have no meaning, and the only important questions will be 'was i loved and did i love enough?'.....

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    546

    Re: intrusive obsessive thoughts....even in my sleep, do i need meds again???

    Hello,

    I completely understand what you mean! I suffer from ocd, depression and anxiety too. It's an atrocious illness and makes us shadows of our former selves. I am also exactly the same as you, I have a lot of different issues and I often feel i have too many issues for me to deal with. I have also decided to stop drinking large quantities, I will have a drink at home with my mum or if im out but I have now decided to not drink large quantities. Don't get me wrong I didn't go out every week and get really drunk but when I did go out I used to drink. Sometimes I drank an awful lot and wouldn't remember the night before. I've done some things I regret - nothing really bad but I feel as though I wasn't dignified.

    Anyway I just want to let you know I understand. Perhaps you came off the meds too soon? I would go back to your doctor and speak to them, tell them if possible you'd liek to see another therapist as the former didn't feel she could help. I have always been lucky with therapists/counsellors as they have all been very good.

    Take care xx
    p.s don't worry about the long post, you should see mine!They are novels! x
    __________________
    When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me." ~Erma Bombeck

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    80

    Re: intrusive obsessive thoughts....even in my sleep, do i need meds again???

    thank you so much for the replies.......
    i came off the meds for the exact reason that deep down i know im just masking the real problems.... and i really dont want to take meds forever.
    i think i might try counselling/therapy again but its so hard. when im talking to them telling them all my fears such as im a bad mum (which i know is 100percent from the truth) i panic they will think i am. after councilling im mentally exhausted going over the conversation again and again. its so difficult going through things, like my fear of the dark, death, deep feelings of shame and guilt- sometimes for no reason at all, my dislike for my looks my feeling of never being perfect enough. i guess im just scared im untreatable.....
    i also am unsure what exactly i have..... i have major health worries, im obseesive in my thinking i have phobias.....so whats the diagnoises??? i wish it was it simple. despite evrything i feel happy- which sounds odd, but generally im happy with a good life and an amazing family which is why i just dont understand why it wont just go away :(

    ---------- Post added at 21:22 ---------- Previous post was at 21:16 ----------

    also hallam what is the difference between pure o and ocd.... just been reading some of your posts????
    i do not have thoughts of hurting people etc but as a child obsessed that i might be a lesbian.... even though i knew i wasnt???

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    355

    Re: intrusive obsessive thoughts....even in my sleep, do i need meds again???

    going through CBT at the moment but pleasing with Dr to change meds , my thoughts are 24 hrs non stop and they are not good thoughts, very distressing at the moment, and if meds mask them well thats good enough for me cause I cant change the past and that is basically where my main intrusive thoughts stem from.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    1,838

    Re: intrusive obsessive thoughts....even in my sleep, do i need meds again???

    Its excellent that despite everything you feel happy!!
    its just the obsessive overthinking you need to work on... sounds much like me, i feel happyish, but some days spend too much time thinking !!!!
    it wont just go away, because its deep seated, especially if its been around for years, and become part of us...
    we need to spend more time in the real world, and less in our heads..
    __________________
    .....when all is said and done and we come to the end of our lifes journey, posessions will have no meaning, and the only important questions will be 'was i loved and did i love enough?'.....

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    80

    Re: intrusive obsessive thoughts....even in my sleep, do i need meds again???

    sorry to hear that bignik.... i have suffered with these thoughts on and off for years(as i said since childhood) and found meds very helpful but being the thinker i am(lol) i jus wondered if i was stronger now. the past and thoughts seem to link in alot of cases, its the same for me...... i hope you can find some good advice and help on here

    and loved the advice "more time in real world.....less time in our heads" so true made me smile

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    546

    Re: intrusive obsessive thoughts....even in my sleep, do i need meds again???

    The difference between normal ocd and pure O is that with normal ocd your compulsions are seen. So if you have a fear of contamination you will wash your hands or go in the shower. With pure o the compulsions are usually done in the mind. So perhaps counting, praying etc. If you take a look at ocduk they have some really good information on there. Including a slidshow about pure o which I have to say really is good and I can relate to myself.
    Perhaps try some herbal/natural supplements rather than anti depressants? I take omega 3 at the minute but I know there's quite a few out there.
    Take care x
    __________________
    When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me." ~Erma Bombeck

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    80

    Re: intrusive obsessive thoughts....even in my sleep, do i need meds again???

    thanks hallam thats helpful. i sometimes do something....if im feeling really anxious i think right if i can get through the next minute so i time it, then so on on and so on till im better.... then i do it in hours then days. is that the sort of thing ???? gonna check out that web site now xx

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    546

    Re: intrusive obsessive thoughts....even in my sleep, do i need meds again???

    There are so many different compulsions, this may well be yours.
    Don't be discouraged that yours isn't on the website as you see it, they only show the most common.
    The website is good for information, take care and message me if you need to talk xx
    __________________
    When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me." ~Erma Bombeck

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