Should I Stop & How (after 4 weeks at 15mg)

[lauz_lea]

Hi All
To cut a long story short, 10 weeks ago I went back on meds after being off them for just under a year.

On the whole, I've felt worse for most of that 10 weeks. I started back on paroxetine (and had only 10 good days), and at the 6 week mark, after feeling utterly desperate and at a low I've never experienced before, my GP prescribed me mirtazepine, which I have now been on at 15mg a day for 30 days (as well as reducing the paroxetine, now on 5mg).

I feel so much worse than I ever did before I went back on meds, I thought I was doing the right thing as I felt my anx/depression returning, but now I wish I could rewind 11 weeks to when I was at least "feeling". I generally have little to no emotions at the moment, which is bringing me down.

I don't know what I should do, up to 30mg and see what happens, or come off meds all together and see how I get on.

If I come off them now, does anyone know how soon I may have some emotions back? Has anyone got any experience of this (i.e. not going on another med, but coming off all together). I know that being on two meds may complicate things but I just want me back again, even if its the me that did have crying spells.

Since going back on meds I have experienced anxiety/panic, something I've never really had before.

When will it all end :(

[Monostich]

Welcome to the (not so) wonderful world of Mirtazapine. My thoughts are with you, they really are.

Have you told your GP about all of this?

My experience of 30mg was hell. I felt numb to everything and my anxiety become intolerable. I wish that I had never even heard of this drug - I am going to be stopping as well with a bit of luck, I am going to try an SSRI again.

I'm sending hugs - stick in there, there WILL be a solution somewhere down the line.

[cathycrumble]

I feel like you Lauz and I have been following your threads and know what you have been going through All we want is to be our old selves and it is hard. I do know in my 20s I had anxiety and I got through without meds with the help of the claire weeks books and my courage.

I have stopped the prozac 3 days ago I was on it for 32 days today I feel sick and a bit anxious keep talking to myself and giving myself positive thoughts well not easy at the moment I think I may be going through withdrawals. not sure.

Have you spoken to your GP for advice? And I am sure someond on here will also help.

I have got citalopram but I know I just cant start another my tummy is so off at the moment. good luck and I am thinking of you

Cathy xx

[lauz_lea]

Thanks for replying Mono and Cathy - I last saw my GP on Monday when she signed me back to work on reduced hours. I felt ready to go back and had been generally more positive for a few days, but still more downs than ups but sitting at home alone all day for the last 10 weeks hasn't helped me either, so I thought going back to work and being around people with a distraction would help. There's no pressure at work at the moment so it's an easy 4 hours.

I don't know if going back to work, and the most recent reduction in paroxetine has led me to feel how I do now, I hope it's just a passing phase or "blip", but I'm too scared to increase the mirt or the paroxetine. I just want some kind of normality back.

[nicola1980]

Normality?? Ive forgot what that feels like :-( x x

[pinkdove]

Hi Lauz, it sounds to me like it's time to talk to your gp for the right advice, you can't go on like this and work.

you have had a tough time of it i know that, but please get some proper advice, and if you want to ge meds free they will advise you the best way to reduce.

sending you and hope you feel better soon xx

[lauz_lea]

Me too Nicola, I may have been feeling down and crying a lot before the meds, but at least I could cry. But most importantly, I felt happy too. I thought I was heading for a downward spiral because the mind chatter had started, which for me, usually leads to depersonalisation and I didn't want to end up with that, but being back on meds brought on the depersonalisation for a while, AND a lot worse.

I'm scared that it's not reversible - that stopping the meds won't remove the side effects of extreme anxiety and panic (which I've never experienced before). My appetite is near zero except for the couple of hours after taking mirtazepine. The only time I get complete relief is when I'm asleep, which thankfully is better thanks to the mirt.

I don't know what to do for the best. Has anyone quit meds because of bad side effects like these, and how long was it before they went away/eased?

Thanks Pink, you're right. I may ring the surgery tomorrow.

[Stormsky]

Ive been off meds for 6 months... my hubby thinks im better than i was on meds...more alive basically, less of a zombie!! i felt id been sedated for 9yrs... i dont plan to go back on, so i battle along with the bad days.... dont get me wrong ive had 2 occasions where i neally started them again! (as i still got a load in my draw)- But ive come 6 months so plan to stay off them.... they never cured me, infact gave me other scary symptons that i never had before them !! and they only mask problem...
I appreciate some people find them life savers, and each to our own opinion...

[lauz_lea]

Thanks Stormsky.

I just want to know that its all reversible - how I'm feeling now will go away without the meds.

[Monostich]

Thanks Stormsky.

I just want to know that its all reversible - how I'm feeling now will go away without the meds.

Yes of course you will start feeling normal again without meds Lau, I promise.

These meds do more bad than good at times - I am in the thinking of giving them all up completely as well.

Stick in there - tell your GP everything. I've got an emergency appointment at mine tomorrow morning and am going to do the same.