I guess the best place to start would be the begining, as they say. I'd like to apologise for the length of this post but it probably best to get everything out in the open at the start.
I've had stomach problems since I was about 5 years old (I'm now 35). Been for various tests until I was 17 (barium meals usually, yuck!) to try and figure out what was the problem was but these never showed anything. Sometimes the sick feeling only lasts a day but in other cases it can be weeks. Usually worse in the morning and in most cases I do throw up. Sometimes the pain is so intense I would do anything to get rid of it. My emotions tend to run pretty high to and I can burst into tears for no reason at all.
I know I panic easily but over the past 3 years or so its got worse. 2 and half years ago my daughter was born (first child) I wasnt really prepared for how much of an impact this was going to have on me and I got the stomach pains, throwing up, not eating, lathargic etc that I usually get. What made it worse was my wife needed my support and I couldnt provide it. To be honest I just wanted to curl into a ball and hide away. The birth was a bit scary as my wife was in labour for 13 hours or so and eventually had to have a forcepts delivery. I did eventually settle down and get back to a "normal" life but the memory of this event is still very strong in my mind.
A year after this my wife became pregnant again. This pregnancy wasnt so easy for her and after some tests (including an amnio) we were told that the baby had DS. After much crying, talking and soul searching we decided on a termination (probably the hardest decision we've had to make). This happened in March 05, and she had to deliver the baby as she was 19 week gone. The staff at the maternity hospital were fantastic though and gave us lots of support and even asked if we wanted to name him which we did. They also arranged for a funeral. Both my wife and myself then attended genetic councilling which helped a great deal as we were initially told by our midwife and consultant that we could never have any more children which we were told by the councillor was incorrect. The type of DS the our son had was a fluke of nature, and could have happened to anyone. The hospital carried out a PM with our consent and discovered that this baby had a major heart defect and wouldnt have survived long after being born if he'd be carried full term.
OK it now gets worse. Our next door neighbours daughter was also expecting but a few months (October 05) after my wife was due. After her baby was born she gave him the exact same name (christian and middle names) of the son we lost. We couldnt believe it! We were starting to accept what happened with the loss of our son but this just brought it all back. We even tried to talk to our neighbours about this but they basically ignored us. Needless to say I really want to move house now.
Still on the bad. December 05 my father fell really ill. He had pancreatitis 7 years ago and hadnt really been the same since. A few days before Xmas he passed away which devastated me as he and I had been pretty close. My doctor then prescribed me some diazipam and anti-depressants, I've been off these for a couple of months now. I also had councilling just myself for a couple of months.
Back to present day now. My wife is expecting again, in fact she was due last Wednesday. Saturday she started getting twinges at 2am but by 4pm these had gone and she was back to huffing and puffing about (baby is going to be a bigun!). Thing is I should be happy but I'm not. I keep worrying that I'm going to regress to what I was like after my daughter was born. I'm worried about the birth of this baby. I've been sick in the mornings since Saturday and the only thing I've felt like eating was chicken noodle soup and some bread. Managed some tea and a bit of toast this morning but didnt really enjoy it.
I'll try to give some background on my lifestyle in case its relevant. I'm not really one for going out much. I like the occasional meal out but afterwards I
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