Re: Derealization!! please HELP
Hi Conor - I know what you mean about the eyes thing, not just the visual snow but the oddity of vision/visualising. I can't really describe it but I know exactly what you mean from your post, I had it too (as you know I have suffered badly with DP and DR when I was your age). For a while a was scared to "see", I was so obsessed with vision and what I saw compared to what others were seeing, it felt like my eyes were on stalks sometimes and I had the same troubles you describe. I just wanted to stop seeing.
I had a brief period of DP a couple of weeks ago, more brief than any period I have previously experienced, and I can honestly say that I was able to get through it with the help of my Claire Weekes audios, I literally listened to them over and over and just accepted how I was feeling. Its so much easier said than done but I just accepted it and floated through it and I found keeping busy really helped too, over a few days it deminished.
I know you're going to the docs tomorrow so good luck with that and any meds they may give you, and I know how hard and scarey DP and DR are and how lonely and isolated it can make you, but believe me, it's temporary, not perminent (even though there may not seem to be an end in sight at the moment, when I was your age it lasted at least 18months, and if I had know that AD's could have helped me then, I wouldn't have suffered unnecessarily). I'm not saying that meds are the only way, but they can help you overcome it so you are in a position to address the causes and triggers, it could be something that happened over a year ago (I never believed that when I was told that 15 years ago) and things have slowly built up since, without wanting to sound condescending, and speaking with experience, it could be a mixture of hormone changes, coupled with exam pressure AND other factors that may seem insignificant, or that you thought you had handled/dealt with at the time and have long since passed.
The first AD I was given was Seroxat (paroxetine), but it isn't commonly perscribed these days, but it worked so well and so quickly the first two occassions I took it (third time unlucky though and I'm on mirtazepine now). The start up side effects weren't pleasant BUT I was in such an terrible state that they were nothing compared to what I was experiencing. I had no knowledge or understanding of DP or DR back then and I truly thought I would be hospitalised, in fact I'd have welcomed it if someone could have told me what was wrong with me, you have the benefit of existing knowledge and a level of understanding which I hope will help you.
One very important piece of advice I will give you, and it may sound silly, but if you are given meds tomorrow, DON'T read the side effects and DON'T go looking for comparisons/testimonies on the internet. Take every day, every hour as it comes. Any side effects you get WILL pass with time and you may not get any, but if you go looking for them, instead of accepting how YOU feel, you can convince yourself you're suffering with a particular side effect and this can delay you're recovery. When you suffer with DP, DR or obsessing you're susceptible to suggestion. Don't worry about what others are experiencing, just focus on yourself.
I truly wish you the best of luck, I really, really do. I've been in your shoes and I know how you're feeling, if I could share the magic solution with you, I would.
__________________
For every day we suffer, there's a day of joy coming our way so tally up your bad days and see how much joy is yet to come.
Reply With Quote
i havent had any meds and the dots are visual snow ( search up on google ull see) its all anxiety and im also depressed, im 16 and what u described is derealization and depersonalization xx
