Harm OCD

[Scared_11]

Thank you. I'll have a watch later on.

I am abit better than I was over the weekend. Still having some moments of struggle but these army lasting as long. I was in that OCD fog u talked about all weekend. I have re read all my information on OCD and this has helped me recognise the way my brain is working. I have also read an essay on this particular type of OCD by a man called Seth Madej and it is brilliant. I'll find the link and post it in here.

A statement that I keep telling myself (I know this is all the reassurance I am supposed to not be doing) is that the subject matter of the OCD is not the problem it's what we do after the thought. I have also leant that thoughts I were having that I thought were depression are also my OCD intrusive thoughts and this has helped abit.

I am going back to the doctors tomorrow and I think I will start taking meds and I am going to ask for more therapy. I had CBT for this last year and at the time I thought it worked but now I know it didn't as I didn't get the right help. I didn't do any exposure response therapy, wasn't aware of what to do withy triggers and was never prepared properly for a relapse. So u now know what to look for when I start my next sessions.

Thank you so much for the support. And the reassurance whicch I know I shouldn't be looking for but we do just need it sometimes for support.

[petram]

hi hallam 11 what meds are u on hun and how long before u tend to notice a difference?? mine always seems to take ages!! like months not weeks , grrrr , i have anxiety depression all on top of ocd .
il let u know how cbt goes your doc can put you forward for it free on the nhs xx

---------- Post added at 21:46 ---------- Previous post was at 21:43 ----------

my cbt therapist said ocd is normally not always caused by a chemical inbalance which anti d s can put right , but it can take ages and can make u feel like complete shite at first some do some dont
let me know how u get on hun im back at gp s tom .
xx

[Scared_11]

Yes well I think I should maybe try them because my mood gets so low sometimes when I can't get out of the negative cloud. I think I'll get them and then speak to the therapist and see what try advise me with them.

Here is the link to the essay I mentioned previously. It's a realy good read.

http://www.sethmad.com/wp-content/up...th%20Madej.pdf

[sam66]

I dont suffer harm ocd, so i guess I cant comment

[hallam11]

I am on Citalopram at the minute - I have been back on them for 16 days now. I feel as though my mood has picked up a little. I also suffer from depression due to the OCD but also just on its own so I wanted to try the meds again to help with the depression. I feel that if my mood is a bit better than I can better beat the OCD.

I would really like to try CBT however I can't put my name down for it as of yet because I am going back to Spain in April as I am a holiday advisor but I am planning on moving within the company and staying in the UK for 2013.
x

[Scared_11]

I have been the docs this morning to ask about a referral and meds.

She is going to refer me for a psychiatric assessment, great just what one would like to hear, she then went on to say she doesn't think it's OCD!!! My reaction was pure anger and upset. The fact that I have thought I have OcD is the thing that has been the light at the en of the tunnel and been reassuring me that I am never going to act on my thoughts.

I feel truly terrified and have been in such a state all morning questioning every thought I have ever had.

[petram]

dont worry scared any intrusive thoughts that cause u anxiety or distress or depression is ocd my cbt therapist said that!!!
alot of doctors DO NOT know alot about it dont fret there will be some light for you
xx

[hallam11]

I will definitely second what Petram just said! If you look back to a post I wrote called "The Doctors say no but I know what I have" then you will see that I had exactly the same thing happen to me. When i went to my doctor she said because I wasn't getting up at 5 in the morning to clean the house or because I wasn't getting in the shower 10 times a day then i didn't have OCD. I was furious when I got home because I felt like she hadn't listened to me whatsoever! The sad thing is alot of people don't know what ocd is - they think its all about germophobia and it certainly is not!
Do not take it to heart because it does not mean what you are going through isn't any less of a disorder. Plus that Psychiatric assessment is just a kind of questionnaire which assesses your anxiety and depression levels - It's a way for them to gauge what is happening so they can help you. I've had it so please don't fret xxx

[Scared_11]

Thanks for the reassurance but I can't help but fear everything I have thought and felt us real and now the 'i can't cope with this thoughts' are popping into my head. And I am confused as to whether this is OCD or something real and far worse. I am terrified u am going to harm myself.

[hallam11]

Yeah I can understand that I really can but you can cope. The truth is we are much stronger than we give ourselves credit for because we have been dealing with these thoughts as well as being functioning people (even though sometimes I feel as though I am a zombie and I am not functioning well at all) I truly do not believe you will harm yourself because at the end of the day if you are upset and scared by thoughts about harming yourself then it means deep down you do not want to harm yourself because you are scared. Is there anything you enjoy doing? Lately I have found so much pleasure in reading and watching films - even though I do still have my intrusive thoughts I feel as though at least I am doing something. The way I see it I will continue to have my intrusive thoughts so I may as well do something I enjoy at the same time.
xx