Re: 'Pure O' OCD :(
Its quiet common.. like a common one is standing on a bridge and thinking your going to jump off...or the edge of anywhere high up...
these are fleeting thoughts, and the problem here is you have grabbed onto the thought...and given it importance and meaning because it frightened you when you very first had the thought in the car....
For me i had thoughts of harming family/pet and myself... i couldnt hold a kitchen knife without thinking i should just kill myself.....
these are obsessive intrusive thoughts, and they tend to strike in the form of the complete opposite of who we are... for instance i dont want to die and i would NEVER harm anyone!
Just as yourself , you dont want to kill yourself.... so the thought is scary... your obsessed about why you keep having it... so it now keeps coming back...
What i do is let the thought in, say to myself, i dont want to die, im bored of this thought, and im not interested in hearing it anymore.... and sure enough it started to fade when i paid it no more interest than that... im not scared of the thought....
its an untrue thought, and i dont believe it, so can let it go....
I also found CBT did nothing for my OCD or anxiety.
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.....when all is said and done and we come to the end of our lifes journey, posessions will have no meaning, and the only important questions will be 'was i loved and did i love enough?'.....