Need a big arm round my shoulder

[W.I.F.T.S.]

I just feel like I need a big arm round my shoulder and someone that I trust and respect to say 'there, there everythings ok. I'll deal with it.' I guess we all would like that really. The important thing is to realise that we could have that if we wanted it, but we would be very fragile and dependent people.

Have you heard the story of the boy who found the chick trying to break out of the egg? He thought he was doing the right thing by taking the shell away and helping it to break through, but the chick died very shortly afterwards because it needed the struggle of breaking through the shell to toughen it up for the world that awaited it.

This illness really is horrendous, but I know that it's doing me good by making me confront things that I've been afraid of and things that I have ran away from. It's making me more outgoing, less passive. it's forcing me to do things that will make my life better, it's forcing me to toughen up and to learn how to be happy. It's making me learn new skills and it's changing my attitude for a much more positive one. It's making me go out and find people, to find help and not be so self-reliant. It's forcing me to be sociable. It's making me open my mind. It's actually going to make me a much calmer person.

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[PUGLETMUM]

hi w.i.f.t.s, now i don't know you and you don't know me as i'm new, but i'm that fragile dependant person your talking about, but guess what i'm also a strong person, and an empathatic person, and a passionate person and the list goes on and on!!! anxiety/panic can do this to you, it can open your eyes to who you really are and help you to live the life you want to live, and it can actually teach you to accept yourself for who you are, but we are all people and everyone is made up of good and bad(unless your totally wicked) and no body is better or worse than you - just different!!! i'm glad for you that you can see that this illness does not have to be all bad, all the best emmas[8D]

[W.I.F.T.S.]

Thanks Emmas. I was just thinking the other day about the news and how bad it is and how it taints your view that the world is a terrible place. And then i was thinking 'Well how many truly 'bad' people do I know?'. I can't think of anyone that is really bad and with no redeeming features. I know people that I'm not so keen on and there are people who I don't see eye to eye with, but they have their views and I have mine. How many really terrible things do I know that have happened to people? Yeah, there are one or two, but people have survived them and moved on.

I think too many of us think that the world is much worse than it actually is and it makes us very defensive and closetted. The average person on the street is negative, just out of self-preservation. They don't want to take a chance, they don't want to do things.

I work as a voluntary social coordinator for a gym with over 4000 members. I've set up football, netball, golf, tennis, music, running and walking groups, but I've got less than a 100 people involved. Ok many people might not be aware of it or might not have the time (?), but I think the majority are too scared or too inhibited or too listless to do it. That's human nature. I used to work in sales and only a very small percentage of people will be open and willing to talk to you. It's a sad fact.

I'm actually glad that I do my voluntary work, because now I know 100 more people and there is always the chance that a few people will be interested in doing something that I'm interested in doing!!

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[Paddington]

i know what you mean wish i truly do[i'll send you a virtual hug right now,not quite thesame tho is it mate??]the old saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger comes to mind when i think of what we all suffer,and it is making you very strong ,you are an inspiration!love mary-rose.xxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[W.I.F.T.S.]

Thanks Marie-Rose. I keep repeating the phrase "an anxious mind can't exist in a relaxed body" to myself. I know if I can get my body to relax I'll feel so much better.

I've been swimming, in the jacuzzi and the sauna today and I've tidied all the junk out of my car and bedroom.

I keep trying to catch negative thoughts and turn them round into positive ones in my head.

At work the hardest job is order picking, it's heavy and everything is timed, so you feel under constant pressure. Normally, once a week, you get to do something 'off the clock'. There are certain people who are off the clock a lot more than others. I always used to think that this was really unjust and that I was hard done to. I ask one of those people the other day how many trailers they load during a shift and he told me something like 8 or 9. I only normally do 5. So, I'm not being victimised, they just give the harder workers more loads. That's fair enough! I don't even really mind picking that much, I've just got a negative attitude about it. I normally get the easiest jobs to pick anyway, so I shouldn't be complaining!!

I've had the radio on this morning to make me feel that I'm part of things and not all on my own.

Another thing that I've started doing is putting my shaving stuff in my gym bag, which I leave in the car. That way, every two or three days I have to go to the gym!

One thing that I'm struggling with, because I work 2-10 pm is how to spend my mornings. I've sunk into dropping my fiancee off at work early and then coming back into my room with the curtains shut and spending all morning on the computer. I'm going to try and go to the gym more and even commit to a yoga class!!

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[kate H]

Hi W.I.F.T.S,

I agree, this illness definately makes you stronger. I think I have come leaps ad bounds since it all first started and i'm not afraid to shout about it!

I think being positive is one of the best cures. In october I am flying out to Ghana for 10 days as a volunteer, its gonna be the scariest thing ive ever done in my life and the thought of it even now makes me feel sick but i feel i need to do it and I will come back a different person!

I think by the sounds of it your doing great and i think u are an inspiration to a lot of people on this site.

Good luck x

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