laughter is the best medicine ever and i love to make people smile

[Granny Primark]

Where do rabbits get their eyes tested?
At the hoptician.
How do you get a baby astronaught to sleep?
Rocket
What do you call a joke book for chickens?
A yolk book
What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool?
she had mittens
what did the cat have for breakfast?
mice crispies
doctor doctor ive got strawberries growing out my head
il give you some cream for that
whats the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You cant tuna a fish
Hope thats given you a smile

[oneofus]

What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?
A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women?
Because when it's time to go back to childhood, a man is already there

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the physiatrist began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."
"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."

In a psychiatrist's waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?"
The second answers, "I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here."
The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you're Napoleon?"
The second responds, "God told me I was."
At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDN'T!"

A man walks into his psychiatrist's office and claims he suffers from CDO.
His doctor looks puzzled and asks what he means.
It's like OCD but everything has to be in alphabetical order!

.... and finally

The head psychiatrist decides it's time to see whether some patients are ready to leave the "hospital" so he takes one to a room where there is a large, empty swimming pool, and a diving board overhanging it.

He takes the patient to the edge of the board and says: "Jump!" The patient jumps and breaks both his legs and is carried away.

The next patient is taken up and after the same injunction, jumps and breaks both her arms and is carried away.

The last patient is taken up and told to jump and he refuses.

The head psychiatrist says, "Congratulations! You have passed the test, and are free to leave, but tell me out of curiosity why you refused to jump." The patient replies, "I can't swim."


Boom Boom Mr Roy

one of us