I am in a very dark place again after doing so well. I recently posted about meeting someone and despite worries it was so good. I have ruined it and is now over. I sent insecure messages, he went cold. Yesterday I sent a text saying I was sorry and explaining saying it was okay if we didn't meet again I understood but it would be good to stay in touch, because I felt I had driven him away, said I was sorry if I was insecure etc..I heard nothing. I woke up about 4am crying and not coping with this feeling of rejection and sadness and did something I regret. I sent a message in despreation saying my ex husband had died, I couldn't sleep. My ex husband has died but not recently, I was desperate just for an acknowledgement from him to respond not just ignore me like this. Not heard anything, must never contact again. I feel so sick. Why did I do this, I ruin so much with these problems, don't want to face the day. I was happy alone I had shut down working on myself and the anxiety issues, keeping busy and getting somewhere in life I never intended to get so keen, now I have come across like some mad woman. It hurts so much that he has blanked me, I really thought he liked me. I don't want to go on like this but know I have to keep going. I feel torn inside.