Citralopram Starting out (day 3)

[Kendra]

Thanks Lesley, cant seem to concentrate on anything today, I just keep filling up and crying!! I just want to be mr again so bad!! My mam said maybe I am just going to feel this way all the time now and I said if I thought I was going to be I wouldnt be here anymore!! Through all this I have never felt like this until today. How can I even think this way when I have my beautiful boy!! Its not right!!

So sorry for going on when you are feeling so bad too, just feel I have no one else that understands it!!! Cant help thinking that it would be easier for everyone if I wasnt here, i just pull everyone down and make them unhappy. What kind of mam am I for my little Wills being like this?? He deserves better then me for a mam!! I want to block it all out now, im sick of it!! xxxxxxxx

[Oink]

Kendra
Im sure you are a great mum. I can tell from Facebook that you are much loved by wills. And the reason he loves you do much is because you deserve it. You mustn't think like above.

Don't worry about work. Remember how last time you worried so much and your boss was absolutely fine. They want same as you. Ie to get better.

Lesley, thinking of you too.

Am trying to entertain parents at shopping centre and email at same time. Not easy!

Hugs to you both .


Steve

---------- Post added at 14:39 ---------- Previous post was at 14:38 ----------

Ps reading a book calms me down. Don't know if it's worth a try?

[Kendra]

Thanks Steve, so sorry for going on!!! I know your going through a hard time yourself at the moment too, hope your ok?? So pleased I have found you all on here!! Dont what I would do without you all!!

Will try and calm down a bit, just so hard to do. But I will try!!

Hope your day gets better!!

Kendra xx

[gabrielle37]

Hey Kendra, you are a brilliant mam, and Wills is young enough to not even remember all this when he's older. he needs you and thats all the more reason to get better my lovely friend. xx your just having a crap day , im sorry you are and being so upset means you need more help thats all, youve done well on 10mg but 20 could make all the difference and put you in a good place again. the way im feeling id say i need upping to 30mg but will hopefully be no need now ive decided to go off sick for a few more weeks. i was doing so well and so were you, we just having a bloody blip and a half! so come on no more sad thinking, try and do something to occupy your mind. we all care about you here and thinking of you. wills will be fine. xxxxxxxxxxxx

---------- Post added at 14:58 ---------- Previous post was at 14:56 ----------

oh i agree with you, so glad i found you all on here too been a Godsend you have xxxxx

[TJSMITH]

Hi all
Kendra you are not alone i am a mum to three and feel like a burden some days and fed up with all this, i am slowly improving but have really dark days still although couple of months ago did nothing but cry all the time the day my 8 yr old had an op in America i felt so bad as wasn't myself and able to give him the support i wanted to give (not that he noticed) this scared me though as i would do anything for my kids.
Hang in there.
I have had a rough few days but increased to 30mg few days ago, can feel the anxiety creeping in. I am hoping its side effects.
Im sure you are a great mum, horrible illness this. sending you hugs. Lesley hope you feeling a bit better this afternoon

[stormyok10]

Hi Kendra,
Of course you are a brilliant mam, never doubt that. I think it is an accumulation of all the things going on at the moment that has just thrown you a little, argument with hubby, holiday, going back to work, but you will come through this a better & stronger person. Go & see the doc & tell him how you feel & maybe everyone is right you may need to up your dose, but what the hell if it makes you back to your old self, you will get there, keep in touch.
Loves & Hugs
Hazel xxx

[joy]

Dear Kendra

Sorry you are feeling so bad today. Off to the gps tomorrow and if neccessary ask to be referred to the Mental health team urgently or if the Gp will refer direct to a shrink. You shouldnt still be feeling as bad as this

Love Joy

[TJSMITH]

Kendra
What dose you on?? i was on 10mg which did nothing for me i was still in tears all the time felt trapped and walked the streets crying, i sat in gps waiting room just crying.
The dr increased to 20mg and said 10mg wouldnt touch me i did feel a huge differnce then but still feel a cloud lurking so gone up to 30mg now. I dont know what you are on but proves that doses work differently for each of us. I was in a very dark place believe me xx

[angel wings]

Kendra i know exactly how you feel it is horrible to have those thoughts i have had them alot in the past and hate the thought of me thinking them sort of things when you have children its really upseting but it will go ,i would go back to the Gp and see what they suggest when i went he said it was up to me if i wanted to up so went from 15mg to 20mg the S E are no way as bad as i thought just having headaches and feeling a bit fuzzy which i can handle im hoping in a few weeks i will notice a difference and feel better.

It just so horrible when all you want to do is feel yourself again

sending all hugs

goodluck upping Laura and glad the S E have been ok for you x

[Kendra]

Thank you everyone for your lovely kind words. Been out with hubby on A19 and had those horrible tingly feelings but hopefully its just due to the fact of me feeling so crap today!! Had a few good cries and spoke with my hubby about how I am feeling, My mother in law called in who works for mental health and said to definately up the dose as 10mg is far too low. I do think they have been working but not enough so thats what I am going to do tomorrow. I just hope I dont get all the side effects again and end up feeling really really crap again!!

Tomorrow is another dau so hopefully I wont feel as crap as I do today!!

Hope everyones evening goes ok!!

Kendra xx