Citralopram Starting out (day 3)

[Choochy]

Hi all,

Been off here for a few days. Been busy helping out family etc, sooooooo glad the sun's put in a longer appearance I see. Hope everyone's well. Am feeling much better and doing things I used to do without any problems. Mostly enjoy walking a lot more and drinking more water, so hence feeling fitter.

Hi Steve, good to hear your update. My mother's dog is called Archie .. he's sooo funny and resembles a beautiful Irish Wolfhound at the moment with his features. He already knows the commands, sit, stay, fetch, drop ...

Job hunting is put on the back burner for me so I'm a free agent ... Yippeee!! Well, OK, to a point. I'm still looking but when I get enthusiastic agencies ring up I don't hold my breath anymore waiting for their returned call. Not the same.

I'm sure your interview went better than you expected. I've had some interviews which I wasn't prepared for and realised afterwards ... it was not for me all along, even if I was offered the job! I always go with my gut feelings now, the first ones and then don't try and analyse it all.

You must be tired with the change of hours but seems you've coped admirably. Yes, we tend to get some people who talk for talking sake, I've crossed many in my path. Our patience is being tested! Yes, it may be the feeling of being trapped so sometimes telling the truth as in "OK, right I must get cracking on with this, I have a deadline ...."

Good that your practising mini meditations at work. Will work wonders even if you don't think it at the time! I didn't ask about the scan so assumed all was well. Will ask GP next time I visit.

Suggestions for a 9 year old girl .... bake some cakes (as in the packet variety which aids less time and fun too) always goes down good, stick on a girlie film or two, get creative with colouring books and feltip pens!! ... trip near the sea complete with icecreams and a hot choc, going for a walk ... maybe a bit of shopping. However, sometimes we always feel we need to entertain .. sometimes it's best to let things just be and they still enjoy themselves.

My son's off now on school hols. He's a teenager who looks out for his mum!! Good kid and a god send.

Have a lovely day and I hope everyone else is beginning to enjoy this sunny weather. Meant to be a scorcher tomorrow!!

Chelle

[anowlwithknees]

Hi all!

Steve I am glad to hear that you are able to work longer hours! I certainly hope that your stomach issues are able to be resolved! I know you have mentioned mindfulness a few times and I am actually very interested in it. Do you have any reccomendations on where to start? While I am doing pretty well overall, I would like to try more than just medication to help with anxiety.

I was woken up last night by a pretty bad panic attack, don't really know where that came from because overall I have been pretty good. It only lasted about a minute but it was quite bad. I know it's probably a blip as I find my progress with anxiety moving forward, the blips always seem to hit harder when they do crop up. Been okay this morning but I am still interested in perusing other treatment options.

I wish both Chelle ad Steve all the best with the jobs! It's especially difficult in these economic times, but if we have learned nothing from our bouts with anxiety, it is that patience is a virtue. I am often struck by how resilient we all are, and thinking if that when I am a bit anxious always seems to calm me.

Hope everyone is well!

David

Oh and Steve I am not sure if you have ever tried peppermint tea to settle your stomach but that always does te trick for me.

[Oink]

Hi Chelle and David

Thanks for your thoughts. In normal circumstances the job would be ideal for me. It’s a substantial promotion (I used to be ambitious!) and in the field that I’m good at and enjoy. I’m much better (as you know), but also still suffer (as you know!), but I hate to think that this should hold me back or force me to chance! I don’t think I’ll get the job….anyway, I’d know by now I’m sure, so it doesn’t really matter. I know I could have interviewed better. If/ when I hear, you will be amongst the first to know.

Neice is currently here and it’s going well. We live by a river and what she likes most is playing in there! We went for a Chinese buffet with her which she thought was amazing.

We are planning to take her to Bristol (there is an interactive place where children can make ardmaan animation films for themselves apparently) and also a safari park later in the week.

Weather if wonderful here by the way. I assume same for you all. David, has it cooled down a bit?

Chelle, I wondered if you had children. Nice to know a bit more about you.

David, the stomache issues are just the anxiety. I’ve improved but not there yet (6+ months of bad tummy). I’m thinking of some kind of supplement to get all the good bacteria back in there. I do drink peppermint tea.

Your recent PA at night sounds tough. I’m sure you’ll get over it. I know you are a cautious with the meds, but wonder if you should consider 20mg? It seemed to make the difference for the likes of Kendra and Lesley. My view is that as long as you don’t get complacent and think you are “cured” you will be fine. From what I know of you, I’m sure you’d continue to look for real solutions to the anxiety and not just rely on pills.

Right, the Mindfulness. A guy called Jon Kabat-Zinn first coined the term. I don’t want to say he invented it, because I guess lots of the practice has been around for thousands of years. Suffice to say, he packaged the key bits together and came up with a practical, workable approach for modern times. He’s an American guy with lots of books and if highly regarded. I haven’t read any of his stuff, but typing now, I think I’m going to order something.

I’ve been following a book by Mark Williams (no. 1 chap in UK) called “Mindfulness: A practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world”. It’s co-written by a journalist so easy to follow and the science is simply explained. The book is based around an 8 week programme of daily meditation and simple exercises. I met Mark Williams at a local literary festival and he’s a really good guy.

There are 3 strands to Mindfulness, understanding and managing your thoughts and feelings, living in the now and being kind and sympathetic to youself. The mediations and practices help with all of this. The basically cover my 3 main problems. I’ve always had bad self esteem (although okay confidence if that makes sense), and my mind used to rush off to worst case scenarios all the time. I’m much better now. I’ve done the 8 weeks and now try to mould the teachings into my daily life. I hope to continue for rest of life now. The mediations help you recognise that thoughts are just that and you can allow them to drift by rather than get caught up in them. Also, you learn that it’s okay to be just how you are and to tend to your own spirit. I know it sounds vague and wishy-washy but I’m a sceptic and it’s working for me. The living in the now, it about noticing the small things. Another thing that is encouraged is making small changes to tedious things and seeing if activities that deplete the soul can become nourishing instead. As I said, I’m getting positive results.

Below is a link to the book I’m using, but I’m sure the Jon Kabat-Zinn stuff will be equally good.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-...3115105&sr=8-7

It comes with guided meditation CD. I’m happy to share these with you, but for the price of a book, I’d recommend you just buy it.

Good luck and let me know if you move ahead with it!

Time to get up. Crumpets for breakfast (David, a sort of cross between waffle, pancake and English muffin).

Take care all


Steve

[Choochy]

Morning All!!!!

Hope everyone's well and enjoying this sunshine.

Thank you for your kind comments David/Steve. David I believe your right in that the anxiety is a trigger to enable us to reach an inner calm within if not more states of awareness and consciously taking control of the moment. I'm sure the blips as you say will get lesser and lesser over time and patience is definitely a virtue!! I really do believe having anxiety etc is a way of reinventing oneself and handling/reacting to daily life in a different way to reach profound results. Slowly slowly catch a monkey eh!!

Steve, I've come across Jon Kabat-Zinn/mindfulness/awareness states and I will endeavour to buy the book you suggest. Certainly provides food for thought in a positive way and I'm sure gives the reader suggestions to take back control of their thoughts/feelings in any given moment. Fascinating stuff isn't it?!!! I do try to live in the moment as much as possible now and simply realise that thoughts ....... are just thoughts and not to get attached to them. Practice, Practice is key and I find I'm more happier when I let go of some of my feelings/thoughts. Your stomach may be a result of your anx at times and suggest buying from say, Holland & Barrett some good pro-biotic tablets/capsules to provide your guy with healthy bacteria and to ease any discomfort or symptoms you experience. I've suffered IBS since in my 20's and it can be extremely painful and frustrating. I've learnt the trigger foods that spark my stomach problems and of course even stressful and exciting events can cause irritation, bloating, wind , discomfort and a lot of pain. I've also read that IBS can be caused by a yeast overgrowth; for me I try and cut back on anything with flour in it, not easy but does ease symptoms. Just a thought.

I've been well and busy as ever; can't believe it's August next week. Have been feeling much better apart from waking up at different hours, especially with the crows in the morning and struggling to get back; could be the hot weather at the moment or indeed the meds and life in general.

Right, I'm off for a spell; wishing everyone well!!!!!!!

Take care, Chelle

[anowlwithknees]

Hi all!

Thank you very much for the advice on mindfulness! I ordered the book this evening and it should be arriving sometime next week I would suspect. I am very interested in cracking the book open, I have come across nothing but very positive things about mindfulness. I am very eager to start. Certainly I will update you on my progress! Steve, regarding the increase in meds, my approach is to try other options before increasing medication. So far I have been soley on meds without other forms of treatment, so I am quite eager to try mindfulness.

Today has been well! Since that big panic attack Sunday night I have been a bit skittish this week, and noticed my memory and concentration have really been the worse for the wear because of it. Havent been getting the best of sleep this week either (not to do with anxiety necessarily, but I have just been busy). Of course, as we are all too familiar with, concentration and memory problems compound more anxiety, etc. Not to sound like this has been a bad week, in fact the anxiety has been quite mild.

I had forgotten all about my performance evaluation at work today! I was a bit nervous going in but my supervisor is very pleased with my performance and overall, very pleased with the direction I am taking the program. I found this to be very reassuring that my anxiety has not interfered with my work at all, because I do love what I do and it would be a shame to negatively impact it. Perhaps that is why I am not anxious at work very much.

Chelle, I am glad to hear that you are doing well and being in the moment, this is something I admit i struggle with sometimes. Its not always easy enjoying things as they come! I too have trouble going back to sleep once I wake up, especially if it is early in the morning.

Steve, I hope yo are enjoying your time with your niece! It sounds like she has quite the adventure for her coming up! Also, knock n wood for the job interview! If nothing comes of it, at least you gave it a go, which is something many anxiety sufferers would not be able to do! I dont interview for jobs particularly well in my opinion, but sometimes we are pleasantly surprised.

I will let you know when the book arrives! Thanks for the advice and hope you all have a great start to the weekend!

David

[Oink]

Hi Chelle and David

It’s nice to read your thoughts. Agree that the anxiety is an opportunity to reinvent ourselves and improve our lives. To be honest, there’s not really anything else we can do. I know I couldn’t carry on. The question is, are we better people now that we were before we got ill? I don’t know. I see the anxiety as a small price we have to pay for all the good qualities that come with it; sensitivity, warm-hearted, analytical thinking, empathy, caring, etc. At least that’s how I view myself!!!!

I hope you like the book. Some of it is a bit dummed down, but I’ve certainly got lots out of it. I haven’t read the Ekhart Tolle book, but think perhaps I should. I picked it up in the bookshop and was a little underwhelmed I must say. Still I shouldn’t judge it by it’s cover! David, have you read it? Chelle, is it worth reading?

Oh Chelle, there has been a “Channel 4 goes mad” season on TV and it’s on 4od. I’ve only watched the Ruby Wax programme so far (it was okay), and there was a brief bit in that on mindfulness and Mark Williams (author of the book) featured briefly.

David, how are you feeling now? You should take some reassurance that you are recovering from the PA.. I’ve never considered the link between memory, concentration and anxiety. It makes sense.

Glad the performance review went well….and glad you weren’t anxious about it. It’s the sort of thing that I get anxious about but know I shouldn’t.

Yes, I’ve had a good week thanks. I’ve been anxious in the mornings, but still improving slowly. Has a couple of difficult days at start, but managed and don’t want to everplay it. Did lots of stuff with our niece. My favourite was probably the swimming at the Oasis centre with all the slides and wave machine. Great fun. Also went to Longleat safari park which was good and loads of other stuff. Had great weather and am exhausted now! Pleased with myself for managing!

Well, I’ve a full week ahead at work. I’ll be fine I’m sure. Have ticket to Olympic athletics a week on Monday. Didn’t see opening ceremony. David, if you saw it, what did you think? The local media is talking it up, but would be good to get an overseas opinion.

Take care both. Hope you having good weekend.


Steve

[anowlwithknees]

Hi all!

Steve, I have actually not been able to see the games, because we are about 5 hours behind London time here, which puts it right into the middle of the work day for me. I have have heard that the opening ceremony was quite spectacular, though!

Things have been decent for me, I have had a bit of anxiety off and on now for the last week or two, but nothing too terribly bad. I suspect it might be a long but mild blip. Anxiety related memory and concentration issues have been particularly troublesome recently. Not typical symptoms that I get but with much rest, fine. Had a good bout of anxiety this afternoon at work, but after a bike ride (it was beautiful outside) and some leftover lasagna I made yesterday (it happened to be national lasagna day, a lesser known holiday, admittedly, but a wonderful one to celebrate nonetheless). Worked like a charm and I am feeling quite good now.

The book has not come just yet but I am expecting it sometime tomorrow or Wednesday. I have not read anything from Tolle, to be honest but it may be something worth looking in to. If you have any experience, let me know if you would recommend him!

Glad to hear things went well with the niece! And it must be exciting to be going to the games! Anything in particular that you are going to be seeing?

Hope things are well for Kendra, Alan, Em and Lesley! Havent heard anything in a while. Probably busy, which is great! I trust that all is well with them!

Hope everyone is off to a great start of the week!

David

[Mally]

Started on 20mg of cit yesterday, couple of hours later I felt terrible really sick and fuzzy headed. Went to bed but didn't sleep well at all which isn't like me! This morning I still feel really sick and dizzy and can't eat much. Hope it all passes soon!

[Choochy]

Hi All!

Thought I'd check in to see how everyone's faring.

David, you sound like your coping really well despite the setbacks and blips now and again. It's an interesting point you made about your performance meeting; well done you firstly!!!! but secondly ..... your anxiety you say is far less because you enjoy your work. You enjoy being in a situation ie. your job hence less anxiety if any at all. This makes perfect sense and it made me think that our lifestyle, family members, friends, daily situations most definitely plays an important part in showing us areas where we are either more comfortable, at ease, happier, depressed etc etc etc. The lesson is to decipher all these feelings, thoughts, habital reactions etc and to see whether they are really true to our nature of whether it's another knee-jerk reaction or thought pattern; to let go of the ones that don't serve us anymore and to reinforce a different way of living and coping. It's not easy at the best of times. I still believe the anxiety is a sign to deal with it the best way we can whilst becoming far stronger and wiser than we can possibly imagine.

Steve, thanks for the heads up about the Channel 4 series. I'll try and find it if I can on catch-up! Lucky you re. Olympic tickets, you must keep us posted when you eventually go. I would thoroughly recommend to anyone on this planet, Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now" and "A New Earth" .... stunning, uplifting, powerful, gifted, meaningful, spiritual, positive, easy to read and digest with suggestions to become more mindful, more aware. The Power of Now is my little bible and I've read and re-read it over and over. His real-life/near death experience led him to an awakening and a way of letting not getting attached to our thoughts/emotions to be able to live a more fulfilling life and become more grounded, centred, able to cope with stressful situations better, to live in the moment and to eventually let go of all fear. I've watched Eckhart's A New Earth series with Oprah Winfrey on YouTube which goes through all the chapters. It may be heavy for some but I can understand this new way of living consciously as opposed to unconsciously and causing ourselves pain.

I've been busy as ever; had a lot of days feeling very tired. Again, stomach upset quite a lot but on the whole I'm fine. I also have a chance of some office work locally, so may be working next week if all goes according to plan.



Hi Mally,

Welcome to NMP. You will find a wealth of information which will help you on this site. Citalopram can take up to 2 months to fully provide benefit so please be patient. These tablets can make you nauseous, sick (that feeling can last all day for at least a couple of weeks), tired, anxious, stomach upsets, dizzyness, fuzzy head, headaches, sleep loss etc but I suggest to not give up and see how you get on for the initial couple of months as when they kick in, you will notice and feel sooo much better.

David/Steve, good to hear from you; hope the others are healthy and well.

Take care for now,

Chelle

[Oink]

Hi All

I love the idea of lasagne day! I good piece of lasagne should be available on the NHS.

David, you’ve taken the blip well. It’s good that you can roll with it without doubting your recovery. I’m going to track and field with my family. I’m half dreading it/ half looking forward. The trains/ tube/ crowds will be testing. Hope I can cope. Family don’t know I have mental problems.

I’ve ordered Eckhart Tolle from the library. If it’s good….and Chelle, you’ve basically sold it to me, I’ll get a copy of my own.

Chelle, can you please explain a bit more about what you mean re: habits/ patterns. I’m sure there’s much truth in what you say, but please say it again as I’m not sure I understand.

Good luck with the work by the way. As well as a bit of money, it will hopefully help with contacts.

My day has been on the bad side of bad. Went to Swansea which meant 0530 start. Had a few PAs starting in car on way to station and going on as far as train ride. I fell asleep on train and felt much better when I woke up. I walked to the office and I think that helped too. I struggled a little in the meetings, but got through it. I know I’ll get bad spells, so I guess it’s how I recover that’s important. I will now put it behind me. It’s just sooo frustrating. Each time I start to hope they may be behind me they rear their head.

Mally, welcome too. Chelle’s right. I’m sure you’ve read loads about the side effects and problems that we all have when we start the cit. I think we make the worst of them….because we are pretty messed up with the anxiety anyway…or else we wouldn’t be taking them in the first place. Take the pills and stick with them. Also look at other stuff. The Eckhart Tolle stuff Chelle recommends is highly regarded…and there’s other self help too. Try to keep busy and get fresh air if you feel up to it. We are here to listen and support.

Take care


Steve