Citralopram Starting out (day 3)

[shaunb]

im on day 3 at 20mg citalopram , was on it last year for 6mnth , had a bad se spell , night sweets , bed was soaked! , so far im only getting weak arms/legs and stromach ache , mind not eating to well at mo also , will keep at them though as its for the best guys

[Mally]

Thanks for the kind welcome :-)

Had a pretty horrible first day, I learned my lesson with the next tablet and took it right before I went to bed. Second day I woke at 6 am and couldn't get back to sleep however it was one of the best mornings I've had in a while. I was still dizzy and sweating but my heart wasn't racing and I had minimal anxiety and nausea. I managed to eat quite well and got a few jobs done around the house, even the dog got two walks!

Day three has started out pretty much the same, woke at 5.45 but managed to get back to sleep until 7.40, had breakfast but then fell asleep on the couch. Woke up with a start and felt terrible but I've soon calmed down. Definitely going to stick with the tablets, I don't mind feeling a bit rubbish for a while if they're going to do me good in the long term.

[Oink]

Hi all

Had horrible couple of days. Lack of sleep and panic attacks and some nasty signs of depression too; the not wanting to move, feeling sick, darkness, etc. This morning I was really wondering if I’d ever get better!

Coincidentally I had a psychitrist appointment thismorning (thank goodness!) It really lifted me. He gave lots of reassurance and explained my symptoms and problems as entirely reasonable and just an illness to overcome. It really turned my mood! I’m still tired, but he got me out of the rut I was in. So pleased.

A couple of people were really nice at work too which made me feel good and appreciated.
Just back from yoga class. We had a relaxing session because it’s a full moon. Don’t know whether you believe in all that stuff, but apparently the full moon can worsen moods, make you more anxious and generally mess with your feelings! So, I’m putting it down to the full moon….and moving forward again!

Hey Shaun, good luck my friend. I seem to sweat much more at night these days. Whether it’s the pills or the ageing process I don’t know. If it’s an SE it stays for longer than first few days.

Mally, you sound really positive. 20mg is quite a lot to start on (most start on 10mg then move up), so you are handling it well. There will of course be ups and downs, but it sounds like you’re doing the right things.

Take care all


Steve

PS Didn’t get that job, but I got good feedback from the interview.

[kestral]

hi, all the old anxieties keep visiting me, mainly connected with my heart and some aches and pains that keep interfering with my feelings of wellbeing but still getting out and about so its not all doom and gloom. i dont want to increase the 20mg cit im on so will try and not get carried away with all the unwanted reactions.
reading some of the posts i see most of us suffer the same and are trying to get on top of it all as our levels of anxiety dips and peaks.
alan

[Choochy]

Afternoon!!!

I've been busy; still struggling a bit with my sleep but all in all fine. Went for an interview this week and I was fine; not sure I want it if they offer it as it's rather long hours. But other work should filter in hopefully within the next couple of days so fingers crossed.

Steve, sorry to hear you didn't get the job albiet good feedback; there's always a reason things turn out the way we do. Put it down to their loss lol ... something else may crop up far far better than that job and maybe just right for you!!! Sorry to hear about the blips, your consultant is right in that it's part and parcel of healing.

I think reading the books will put everything into perspective but it's really about becoming aware of the present moment and accepting THIS MOMENT as if WE HAD CHOSEN IT .... for what it is and gradually the mind or overactive mind which is normal by the way, will calm down. Our daily thoughts are mostly habits that most don't serve a purpose apart from giving us a sense of self, it's what we are used to, a comfort blanket of sorts if you want to call it that. Our overactive minds are an attempt to get away from the present moment. We are all thinking, thinking, thinking, over analysing, worrying, thinking ahead, thinking of the past, trapped in the past, wanting more, anticipating the future beit it good or bad thoughts of what could happen when in all essence, it's not even here in the present yet and may never happen in the way we initially think or ponder. We lose track of this present moment that is precious. It's about accepting the present moment with all your being, being ruthless and zealous, to be courageous and say ... OK, for once, I'm going to go with the flow, to accept this moment in all it's forms without judgement, without worrying too much without over analysing and simply .... let it be as it is. According to Eckhart, when we are free of our overactive minds, we are truly liberated and stronger and are truly truly Living; living in the present where the NOW exits. All of our fears etc gradually diminish in size, we are not making them into something bigger than they really are. When we are more mindful and present you don't tend to think a lot of thoughts, you realise they are just thoughts, you can have a thought that you are thinking as in "yeah, that's one of my thoughts" ... and let it go ... when another appears, look at it is as from a different view point and let it go, keep doing this regularly we re-train our thinking patterns and gradually we claim more of ourselves and claim the present moment in all it's entirety. How liberating and powerful is that? This World would be a better place if we all practised this, we would certainly create a better peaceful World. The Now is precious and all we truly have so it's about grabbing it with both hands, accepting it for what is really is and working with it than against it.

I think we are all doing well despite any setbacks and blips. Buy the books if you can, take your time reading them, re-read them or pick up certain chapters at intervals and read them again. It really does make sense and just shows how powerful we truly are.

Mally/Shaunb, don't give up on the tablets too soon; as you may or may not know it really does take time time time to kick start and you start feeling the benefits. It's just getting over the side affects; I think I had every side affect known to mankind but it does get better.

Alan, good to hear from you, keep going with the tablets but if you feel you may need a slight increase perhaps a chat with your GP may help you decide. The extra doseage may help at least for a few months? I think your right in keeping busy out and about so well done you!!

Have a lovely weekend all,

Take care for now

Chelle

[Kendra]

Hi Everyone,

Just thought id drop in to see how you are all doing??? Been catching up on your posts!!!

Bit of a mixture for you all.

Alan, pleased you made it to my neck of the woods and had a good time. Was thinking about you going to the concert!! xxxxx

Steve your having a rough time still. You will get through it though. Keep positive and busy and try not to dwell on the symptons. Hard I know but it does help a little.

I have been doing good. had a blip on the A19 on saturday but trying not to dwell on it. Kept it to myself and got over it!!

I'm still not 100% but getting there. Its taken us a while to get in this state so it will take a while to get better!! But at the moment life is good....

I still overthink about stuff mainly travelling to get to places (will I be ok, will I panic, how will i cope) etc etc. Wish I had the gun zapper handy for my brain!!!

Just finished reading 50 shades and I loved it!! LOL.

Last week was a busy week (and stressful) had to go to the dentist Thursday, Hairdressers Friday (was in for 5 half hours trying to sort my mop out) and then I had my first night out this year with me mates from work!! But I did all of it and other the the PA on saturday morning have been good.

Steve I got really drunk from quick so it was acheap night. Had to stop and drink a soft drink cos I thought I was going to be sick!! Haha I didnt take my tablet on the night (first one I have missed) and have felt slightly (very slightly) wobbly but nowt serious!!!

Sending my love to all of you!!

Kendra xxxxxx

[Oink]

Morning all!

Sorry not posted for a while. My parents are here and what with looking after them and work, I’ve hardly had time to get on line. I see what’s been posted on my phone, but I can’t type very well, so haven’t replied.

It’s always nice to hear from you all and thanks again Chelle for your wise words/ opinions/ etc. Have you heard back from job interview? I’ve got my fingers crossed they’ll want you….so the decision becomes yours.

Your synopsis of Living in the Now is brill. The book has finally arrived, but I wonder if I need to read it, given your summary! Only joking, am looking forward to getting in to it and changing my life even more!

Hi Alan, Hi Kendra. Great to hear from you both. Big hugs!!!

Alan, the good news is we are all improving and all well along the path to recovery. I agree, we have ups and downs which are soooo frustrating….but we are getting there.

Kendra, my bad spell last week, fortunately turned out, just to be that; a bad spell, or blip. One of the worst I’ve had, but I bounced back fully. I’m miles better than I was. I’ve made huge steps. So glad, you’re doing well too. I think the echos of what we’ve been through will be with us forever. We will always get blips. They may get fewer and less bad, but they will never go completely. You’re dealing with them no problem! They don’t put you out of your stride, and they certainly don’t scare you! That is the way to be.

How is the hair these days? I’m assuming it’s somewhere between red and blonde with some GB colours thrown in for the Olympics.

As mentioned earlier, I’ve been busy. The Olympics trip was great fun. Was good to be with the family. It was an early start (up at 0320) and tiredness makes me worse. I had plenty of kit; nice team GB shirt and huge flag, so get well into the spirit. There were sooo many people and great atmosphere. Not like football, more a carnival I guess. To be honest out of our whole group (about 15 people) it was only me who follows sport, so I don’t think they really understood what we were cheering, but I think that applied to 90% of the people in the stadium. Most people were there just to sample the atmosphere and cheer; not because they like the sport. Met one of my old best friends too….which was a bonus. After the athletics, we have a look around the park, then late lunch in Covent Garden. All very pleasant. My anxiety stayed away mostly too! I remember the tube was absolutely packed (got chatted up by a Swiss blonde girl….much to my wife’s annoyance!!!!) and thinking I should feel bad now. Of course, that made me feel a bit worse but I was okay. Likewise, when sat in the stadium I started to thinking “I can’t believe I’m actually doing this without panicking!”…which made me almost panic….but with the breathing exercises I recovered and was fine.

Parents are staying again…..and I’m so much better than when they were here a couple of months ago. I’m confident I’ll be fine so not worried much. We went to the greyhound races last night which was good fun. I lost about £6, but also lost the tenner I gave my wife. Will definitely go again.

Wonderful weather here. Shorts and hat for me. Take care all. It’s good to hear from you all.

Hugs to you Chelle too, and please keep posting even if I’m a bit lax as it’s a big help for me to hear from you.



Steve

[Iggy131313]

Hi Oink,

may I ask you a question please? I have been through hell in the past 4 and a half weeks, the cit has been very powerful, sent my anxiety through the roof alongside lots of other side effects, it has scared me so much and my confidence is at an all time low. I went on the cit due to very mild anxiety, my dr shouldnt have put me on it I dont think for such mild symptoms, I would only have a panic attack maybe once a year or less. But now I have been so traumatised by what the cit has done to me I feel like Im gonna be like this forever...

When you talk about having ablip etc is it a blip back onto cit side effects or a blip sending you back to how you felt before you went on the cit? When I read the posts talking about blips I worry that the cit will haunt me for life when I never really had a serious issue before starting, so were you pretty bad before you srtarted taking it, or is it the cit that has traumatised you?

Please advise me, at 4 and a half weeks I was hoping to be getting back to normal but it seems im very sensitive to them, so Im hoping the 6 week mark will see me recovering, what do you think?

[kestral]

hi kendra so good to know your doing so well, as i said in my previous post, the people in your part of the country are so friendly it made a brilliant holiday for me and maureen.
steve, a trip to the olympics and being chatted up by a swiss babe? that must have been a boost to the ego. at my age all they want to do is mother me.
hi chelle you are very positive in your outlook which can only lead to better things.
went to the gp the other day for my diabetic checkup, bloods etc and everything was fine until they got to the bp check which was high even though im on meds for it and now have to go for several more checkups so you can imagine were it sent my HA.
the wife tells me to accept its a condition and not an illness but with all the media talk about bp makes it more difficult to put in the back of my mind.
alan

[Oink]

Hi Alan, I’m sure you know your wife is right. It’s not unreasonable to worry a little about blood pressure, but just need to keep it in perspective. Agree, being chatted up by a saucy Swede is a tonic for most ailments. I couldn’t resist slipping it in to my last post.

Hi Iggy, of course I don’t mind your question. For me, a blip is going back to how I was before the cit.

I sympathise with your experience with the medical profession. I feel there’s such variability around the treatment and understanding of anxiety/ depression throughout the NHS. My doctor is sympathetic and does her best (better than most I think), but considering how common the condition is, there seems to be remarkably little expertise. I appreciate you’re going through a hard time right now, but try and stick with it. I’m sure your doc thought they were doing right thing in recommending cit to you. We were all much worse when started on the cit; partly side effects, partly because we are so anxious about the pills. After all, it’s a big decision, and so much negative information out there. It does get better and it will get better for you. After 4 weeks I’d expect you to be over the side effects, but to get anything positive can take easily 6+ weeks. What dose you on? Most on this thread didn’t get a great deal from 10mg and were on 20mg+ before improving. What I recommend to everyone is try to be positive. Cit won’t fix you. It may help for a while, but you need to sort out the route causes of your illness. Try other things too. There is good self help available. Try and get some counselling if you can. It’s in theory available on NHS. Keep active and get fresh air if/ when you can. Try to keep your life as normal as you can….and remember there are many people on this site, including me, who are here to help and support.


Steve