Hello I'm new and would like to chat

[JennyW]

wow, what a godsend this forum is - at last I can talk to people who understand how I really feel without thinking i'm nuts.

I hope it's OK to talk about my fears and get them off my chest?

Two years ago I lost my father very suddenly and unexectedly. I was very close to him and am now still receiving bereavement counselling. The doctor put me on diazepan (sp?) for the first month to help with my initial grieving and I have not had any more since. However, ever since losing my father I'm now obsessed with my health and fear that I will get cancer or some disease and die before my time. Every ache or pain or niggle, I think the worse. Last winter I had a routine mammogram, was recalled for more scans and of course expected the worse and made myself so ill - my period was even late by 3 weeks because of it.

So I've gone through the last 2 years just struggling on with my fears - every day I think something's going to happen to me and sometimes it just totally consumes me - its an awful feeling as I guess many of you will know. Does this mean I have health anxiety?

I now have another worry. A month ago I fell over a banged the back of my head. I've been exeriencing dizziness on and off and my doctor has reassured me it's due to the balance organs in my ear - this I'm quite happy to accept however prior to my doctor telling me this I was on the internet looking up head injuries etc and got myself into a state thinking I'd get some post symptom or even collapse in a couple of months due to the trauma!!!! I suffered neck and shoulder strain too due to the way i fell. Anyway a week or so ago I started getting a bit of tingling in my left leg and my left arm felt sort of "weak". i did the worst thing in the world - checked my symptoms on the internet and convinced myself I had MS. In a panic went to the doctors and he said for my peace of mind he would refer me to a neurologist. I went along this week and after all the usual nerve and balance tests in his office he told me that he's 99% sure the dizziness is coming from my right ear, however my left ankle reflex is sluggish and as I have this weak feeling in my arm he would like to get an MRI done to check for pinched nerves. Eeeek! Now I'm worried they'll find some nerve disease or infact I'll have MS or worse still they'll find something else going on, like cancer.

I'm at my wits end with worry and my husband is currently away in the forces so I feel I have no-one to talk to :(

Even today I've convinced myself that I've felt my lips feel tingling - its driving me mad.

thanks for listening.

[lass]

Hi Jenny, I'm new to this too. I found this site earlier in the week after doing an internet search for my pins and needles in my left arm-hand and leg-foot. It lasted about a week or so, then disappeared. But meanwhile I had been to GP who told me it could be viral, could be heat, could be anxiety - I guess with all my other symptoms and my state of mind, that mine was anxiety without a doubt. I don't know why it came on, or why it stopped - and until it started I wasn't unusually stressed (I'm always anxious about my ongoing health).

I work in a private hospital, and my friend is a practice nurse, and I know the medical profession do tests to rule things out, not diagnose. Try to keep this positive thought with you. You have been through such a lot, it's bound to take effect.

I found a breast lump last October and I was out of my mind with worry until it was all confirmed ok (although I still get the odd day when I worry they missed something, even though the lump has now gone and was obviously a cyst or something!).

Other than the very occasional "good" day, I am constantly battling with my own mind, which is trying its best to tell me that they are going to find something wrong with me (usually cancer but I had an MS period when I had the pins and needles). I'm worn out by it all and I feel everything is a struggle. I try so hard not to let it show on the outside, as I don't want to affect my children, but it's not easy and I know I become really irritable, when all I want to do is hide under the duvet and cry my eyes out with self pity.

My husband is around but unreachable due to the World Cup! Which is probably why I am spending such a long time on this website. But I am always here if you want someone to talk to - you can PM or email me anytime if that helps.

Caroline
xx

ps: I think if you think about it hard enough, you can feel something going on in almost any part of the body!

[anxious]

Hi Jenny and welcome to the site. You have been through a lot recently and its amazing what physical effects stress and anxiety can cause the body.
I too have health anxiety so i know exactly how you feel. What Caroline said about medical profession doing tests to rule things out, not diagnose is very comforting.
Join us in the chat room some time, its very friendly,

anx


Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects

[chucklehound]

Hi Jenny and welcome to NMP

Feel free to PM me if you want to chat

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[trac67]

Hi Jenny,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

I too suffered with health anxiety and used to convince myself I had every illness under the sun, I did a CBT course for this and it made me realise by thinking rationally then things don't esculate in our minds.

Have you asked your doctor about a CBT referal?

Take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[markm]

Jenny,
Hi and welcome to the forum.As you said in your own post this forum is a godsend.I am a pretty new member here and I to have H.A.problems.Two bits of advice I have learned from posting here,DONT google,it only increases your anxiety levels,trust me ive done it and secondly,all who post on here are in the same boat as ourselves and thier advice is second to none.I know its hard to take in cause ive been through it all,x-rays,all the blood tests you can think off and all came back negative,but because you feel so crappy you think no these must be wrong because i feel like S***.Its all anxiety.I hope you can find some comfort in these post and as anxious said join us in the chat room.

Mark
xx

[jackie]

hi jenny it sounds like health anxiety to me

horrible isnt it

just glad your not alone any more

jackie

[JennyW]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">hi jenny it sounds like health anxiety to me

horrible isnt it

just glad your not alone any more

jackie

<div align="right">Originally posted by jackie - 27 June 2006 : 17:08:26</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

yes it feels so much better to get it all of my chest. As I said earlier, i dont have anyone at the end of the day to come home and talk to so end up bottling it up and sitting at the computer searching my symptoms on the internet (the worse thing to do I know) but it's hard to stop :(

[Olive]

Hi,

I've just joined this site too and I know exactly what you're talking about. My problems also started with the very sudden death of my father 18 months ago. I have health anxiety too. Every little ache or pain I get, I blow totally out of preportion and manage to convince myself that there's something seriously wrong.

I suffer from panic attacks every day and I experience depersonalisation which terrifies me. It's such a relief to hear other people who feel the same way. I find it so hard to get to work every day, and my day is just hell while I'm there. I can manage my panic when I'm at home, but being in a public place really makes it so much worse.

My doctor recently prescribed medication called Lexapro which I've started to take. I was very reluctant to take drugs for the problem but I agreed because I was so desperate to have a normal life. So far I haven't felt any positive effects, only more worry that the drugs are harming me. I really feel lilke I'm going mad.