advice required on dealing with someone at work...

[littleredhen]

one of my anxiety issues is being thought of a bull in a china shop. I don't know what I have done to get this reputation, but I do have the reputation. I guess that in the past I've tended to speak my mind and speak truthfully and people don't really like that. Anyway, the consequence is that these days I'm anxious about openning my mouth and saying anything and I'm really anxious that people think i'm being critical or damning.

My current problem is that I have a colleague who has a really strong accent and also whispers and also mumbles and I can never understand a word he is saying. I don't have to work closely with him and so far I've got away with just vaguely nodding and pretending I can hear what he is saying, but today he told me something very specific that I needed to hear, I did the usual nodding vaguely and then got caught out later on when my boss said "I heard xx telling you that this morning". I had to confess to my boss that I didn't understand what xx was saying to me.

So advice required - how can I now tell xx that when he speaks to me he needs to speak more clearly. I'm really anxious about sounding either a) patronising, or b) just thick and stupid and racist (I am none of these and I really think that if he didn't whisper or mumble I would be able to hear him - for example, when he is speaking to overseas offices on the phone and making an effort to speak clearly, I can understand every word he says). gaaah.

[bignik]

just come out with it I would say ... in a gentle way , I suffered this a lot being scottish when down south , people would often ask me again , I didnt take any offence as I was aware being glaswegian and in a comfortable enviroment like work I was talking a lot as if I was back home.

[Recsense]

tell him your a bit mutton geoff, but then you might find the whole office shouting at you. but better that than to miss important stuff that could affect your work.
:-)

[littleredhen]

yes, I did think about pulling out the deaf card. I think I might actually be a bit deaf in one ear anyway. I'd kind of given up saying 'pardon' ' what did you say' 'speak up please'.

[snowgoose]

hi
Bet you are not the only one finding it hard to hear your colleague . And now your boss knows, so it is possible that others have same concern.
I have had similar worries re hearing others .........truth is I tell them I have hearing problem and it would help if they spoke up and slower . With a smile of course .

Now the lie has come back and bit me on the butt
I have hearing loss and never ever hear anyone behind me shouting my name ........and nod a lot .

It is an issue though .........and understand totally why you feel the way you do .
I hope it gets resolved because this is not just you I bet.... and the person will gladly slow down if we tell them it is difficult to catch the message .
no insult surely and no way racist at all .
I am Glaswegian born and live in England ........and get a lot of nods and quizzical looks ...... it happens . dont worry xx
And those I live among got them back

[littleredhen]

I can't believe how much anxiety I'm having on raising the topic! He is a beastie though.

[Carys]

Yeah, I'd go down the 'my ears are blocked' route too....

---------- Post added at 15:33 ---------- Previous post was at 15:27 ----------

Do you need to act on this now; I mean, it is quite hard to approach someone and launch into a discussion about the fact you can't hear them properly. Why not wait until they actually say something to you and then do the 'sorry, could you say that a bit louder/clearer as I seem to be a bit hard of hearing/have blocked ears....etc' Don't pretend you can hear and understand him though, when you can't, as you've found out that will cause problems long-term.