so scared my baby has hiv, please help

[Sandy12]

hello, ive always had contamination ocd especially concerning stds and hiv. after lots of tests i was finally at peace that i didnt have any but in my pregnany it flared up again and i started worrying about diseases again. when my baby was born i was so happy but then something happened which sent my ocd crazy and has pretty much ruined my first few months with my baby.

when she was a week old the midwife came to give her some vitamin drops which were in a little glass vial. she snapped the lid off and then gave my baby the drops with a pipette then she put a little plaster on her finger because she said she had nicked her finger on the lid as it came off the drops, she squeezed her finger to see it she had cut it and it was like a tiny papercut but some blood did come to the surface. Immediatly i went crazy thinking oh my god she has infected my baby with hiv or hepatits.

I have been reassured by the midwife (who is very experienced and lovely), by occupational health, by my psycologist and doctor etc that there wasnt a risk to my baby and its just my ocd. to further reassure me the midwife had blood screening tests for everything the next day which were all negative (but that still dosent put my mind at rest cos of the window period.) I have been told as it was just on the lid part she cut her finger, as it didnt bleed till after drops were given, as no blood was on the vial etc etc then there was no route of contamination even if the midwife had got any diseases.

Im having ocd treatment but i just keep thinking what if its not just ocd, what if my baby has got hiv? shes now six months old and a perfectly happy and healthy looking baby. would anyone else be as worried as me about this or do you just think its ocd?

any help or advice would be so much appreciated, thanks. I just want to be at peace about this any enjoy my lovely baby :(

[william wallace]

I'm sure that your baby is just fine.

One thing that puzzles me and was the first thing that came to mind, why was the midwife not wearing gloves? I thought that this was standard procedure in the medical profession

[jca]

I would say yes, sounds like OCD, but also sounds like New Mom.. I think it is safe to say anyone with a new baby will worry about all sorts of things and wonder if it's normal. My best friend had a baby late last year and for the first month she would call me a couple times a week and ask me to come over to see if I thought her baby was a demon... and a couple of times try to ask her (the baby) if she was a reincarnated man sent her to think perverted thoughts about her mom (the friend). The last call was her telling me she feared her baby was going to kill her in her sleep. Now, she doesn't sleep because she is terrified her baby will die in her sleep. I think it is something she will get through and be alright with... hope you feel better soon. I bet your baby is very healthy and is so lucky to have a mom who is so concerned.