I am not sure what is going on

[nomorepanic]

Hi all

I have been a miserable so-and-so these last 3 weeks and I don't know why.

I am angry at work and angry at people on here and that is not good, so I am sorry to everyone I upset.

I just feel so sad all the time and i keep crying and I am not used to feeling like this atall. Those of you that know me will know how positive I normally am but I have hit a real low.

Foruntely I have not had any panic/anxiety yet but I am scared that it is sitting in the wings waiting to pounce again!

I just feel so miserable and depressed all the time and I can't shake it off. Work is really stressing me so I am guessing it is that but I am not sleeping so I am feeling really dizzy at work.

This is not like me and I do not want to feel like this but it has taken over and I am just not myself and I feel so stressed and put upon.

I am not looking for sympathy here I am looking for help!

I have a stressful job as well - if we don't fix it then passengers get annoyed cos the plane gets delayed!

I just feel so miserable and cant explain why. I just feel so angry at people and why they don't fix things so I am sorry for that.

Things are looking bad at the moment but they will get better soon I hope!!!!!!!!!!

xx

Nicola

[kate]

Hiya Nic,

I know how low you have been feeling lately and how hard it is for you to get back on top of things.

We all appreciate what a lot of work you do here but it is often forgotten that you are also a sufferer and so have low times as well.

As you know, I have recently been through terrible low times and felt exactly as you do.

But, it will pass and you will slowly start feeling better, though noone can say how long that will take.

You know we all care about you and will help you as much as we can, as you have always helped us.

As you have previously told us all, the best thing is to post your feelings on here and not be afraid to ask for advise and help as often as you need.

You are a strong person, Nic, and have the courage to fight back.

We are all here for you and will help you out as much as we can.

Take care, mate

Kate xxxxxxx

[jollywalrus]

Hi Nicola,
I only know you from this site, but I have noticed your posts of late and would like to help if I can. This site has done a lot for me. My anxiety kicked me in to an awful depression, a bit like wading through treacle, then I read a post on this site and I managed to see a new point of view. I think it was Bryan who said that inbetween panics you can have good bits in your life as well. That hadn't occured to me - everything was doom and gloom - but this was my "lightbulb" moment! He was right and although I have a long way to go, I have made every effort to pull myself up again. I have tried to appreciate the things I have and can do and I am more hopeful. This was your lovely site that did this. THANK YOU!
My advice to you is to give yourself a chance. We all know these feelings so well and we know that we go down and we come back up. Depression comes from emotional fatigue, our brains can get tired just like out bodies. I hope you feel better soon, and thank you and all of the forum contributors for helping me.
Best wishes,
Christine

[sarah]

Hiya Nic

Just to add a little.

Kate is right..it does seem like the end of the world but it will get better. Your job is definately stressing you out so what im suggesting is this...

Dont worry about us in here so much. Im not saying we can cope without you but you need a little space. Think of yourself as someone coming in here for help instead of someone who has to help others.

Take nice hot relaxing baths before bed. Light some candles and find some good book to lose yourself in.

Get alex to take you somewhere nice..just out for a quick drink or out for a nice meal.

Look foreward to your week at the health farm..it will be here before you know it.

Try and take a couple of days holiday from work..tell them its for a wedding or something if they are funny about it....do some gardening or go out for the day...do something thats physically exhausting instead of mentally and you will get a good nights sleep..i guarantee it...lol

And dont forget matey....summer is here soon!!!!

chin up babe..we are here for you!!!!

love Sarah
xx





we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution

[sadie]

Hi NIC,

I am sorry to hear youv'e been feeling down lately. I feel really selfish as I forgot that you too are a sufferer just like the rest of us, I just always felt that you were on top of things.

Try and not be too hard on yourself, you are not 'superwoman' and therefore you cant do everything by yourself.

Last year I too felt like you, my work was casuing me loads of stress and I felt down all the time. I just couldnt see any light at the end of the tunnel and thats when my panic attacks and migraines started happening again.

You seem to have loads going on in your life at the moment and maybe whats been happening is that you have been 'burning candles at both ends'. If work is stressing you out, maybe take a holiday or a long weekend off just to recharge your batteries. Maybe speak to your supervisor regarding any problems at work if you feel you can. We spend so much time at work, therefore I think it is important to be happy there. Last year I had to leave my job due to the stress I was under and I am not suggesting you do the same but dont let it make you ill, life is too short.

I agree with sarah, you need to pamper yourself a bit by taking nice long hot baths, burn some candles etc...Look after yourself, make sure you get enough sleep as that will definetly ensure that you wont be as stressed during the day. Have you tried taking Nytol to help you get a good night sleep?


I hope that you are feeling a bit better today. We are always here for you just like you are always here for us. Try and stay positive the best you can because this 'blip' will pass and you will get back on the right track before you know it.

I too have a had 'blip' with my recovery lately but just being able to come on this forum and share my thoughts etc with everyone is so comforting. Remember it is you that has made this all possible for all of us and we are grateful for it.

Take care


sadie

[nomorepanic]

Hi all

Thanks for the lovely replies - much appreciated.

Kate - I will continue to burden you when we chat on MSN (only kidding). You do look after me though so thanks for that. You are a great friend.

Christine - I am pleased to hear that the site is helping you. I have some lovely caring members in here and 3 fantastic moderators - Meg, Sarah and Diana who do a great job of keeping things going for me.

Sarah - cheers mate. I will definitely look into that bath thing cos as you may know I have a lovely spa bath upstairs and it is definitely under-used. All those lovely bubbles and candles should chill me out a bit! I think you are right about going out too. Me and Alex don't seem to do much of that nowadays - my fault more than his. I will see if we can go out for a day at the weekend instead of sitting around here. I love gardening, just the blooming rain spoils it!! Thanks for looking after stuff on here for me too. []

Sadie - You are not selfish. I am usually ok and most of the time I am cured (lol) but I just feel miserable. No panic/anxiety yet so I am not going to let it get me again. Work is somewhere that I should be happy, I know that, it is just cos I work with a load of men who don't seem to care about anything most of the time (that was not a slur on all men, lol, just the ones I work with). I guess being the only woman in a team of 9 doesn't help either cos I don't get the female sympathy that I am probably needing.:(

All - thanks for caring about me. I am sorry to everyone I have upset recently, I will try to be more understanding cos when I need help then you are there for me too.

I was quite looking forward to going to Meg's today but it got cancelled so we will have to re-arrange that sometime.[8D]

I am going to watch a bit of TV and chill out now so catch you all later and thanks! []

xxx

Nicola

[sarah]

Hi Nic

Spa bath???? you posh thing..now im definately jealous..having said that ive got one of those big old origional baths with the claw feet and it holds loads of water so its not that bad...lol

ENJOY!!!! get Alex to scrub your back for you!!!

love Sarah
xx

we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution

[Meg]

Dear Nic,

Is any of this pure frustration and feeling let down by colleagues.

Most anxiety stricken people are clever, sensitive, creative and have extremely high standards both at home and at work and can often be driven to tears and emotion by not being able to keep those standards up due to short staffing, cutbacks, being rushed, confrontations and tension etc.

Or(by someone we both spoke to on the phone )- trying hard to help someone who doesn't tell the whole story and actually is not open to the advice we're trying to offer which we know would have helped and in fact chose to do exactly the opposite.

Its hard sometimes to swallow that we are not all striuving for the same recovery conclusion.

We are built with a complex range of emotions and whilst its lovely to be on an even keel , other feelings nad emotions do kick in and because we are so sensitive to anything that feels odd these are accentuated and are thus much more noticeable.

Also being so disappointed in your shopping centre anxiety is probably still an undercurrent within you as you're not in a frame of mind currently to force it out so quickly as you would usually.


It has been a lunar eclipse and soem peole are very affected by that lunar cycle...

When I'm feeling muggy or sad the thing that never fails to lift me is a walk round a reservoir/countryside where lambs are playing and swans are sitting on nests and ducklings are now following Mum accompanied by real bird song. Sun shining would be a bonus but not essential .

We're all here for you.. whatever it takes


Love
Meg

'There can only be true courage when first there is genuine fear'

Dr.David Livingstone

[imported_n/a]

hey nic tried to post this ,,this morning but failed, anyway i am here now,,nic we all have bad times as you know that anxiety and deppression go hand in hand,,and the weather at the moment dosent help but hey you have been such an inspiration to me nic,,so you should be really proud of yourself and take inspiration from helping so many people nic,,really do hope you will be back in the chatroom soon i miss your spelling mistakes hee hee,,were here for you nic ok,,xxxxxxxdarrenxxxxxx

[sal]

Hiya Nicola

Just read your post, and can appreciate how you are feeling. Ive dont quite well myself upsetting people, when it isnt their fault, but sometimes you just get so low and paranoid, rational thinking disappears doesnt it. But you need to take time out for yourself and try to get on top of it before the panic and anxiety comes back. We are all here to help you as much as you do us, so dont ever forget that. You have got a stressful job and i appreciate that because if people arent happy with what they are been told they can be really hurtful and aggressive. At times we need to step back from that and remember that it is not personally directed at us but we are the bearers of new they really dont want to here. Anyhow if you want to talk you know where i am. Like Sarah said get Alex to take you out and treat you, that will make you feel better i am sure. So chin up and you know where i am if you want to talk.

Lots of love Sal xxxxx
PS Youll be disappointed in this one had bbq today, about 25 adults and 20 kids, started drinking at 2 & totally sober!!!!!! think i took it steady though with all those BRATTS around. LOL xxxxx

Sal xxxx