Hi Nic
I recently had a real bad panic attack - like the one you experienced in the shopping mall. This also happened when I felt I was doing so well and was actually beginning to seriously ask myself "Have I beaten it?" I hadn't had any real anxiety or panic for over six months. It was so depressing - so depressing - to realise I wasn't over it yet and was still vulnerable. In the days after it I became irritated with myself and with other people and situations, and worried I was heading for depression. (I do believe that repressing anger is linked to anxiety, and I've never been good with handling those feelings.)And the worry made me anxious, and I became angrier with myself for being pathetic and more worried I was losing it or heading for losing it....God, it's so exhausting sometimes! I'm coming out of it now, weeks later, but the anxiety has returned to be a daily focus whereas before I'd really banished it to the back of the mind.
But life goes on and we persevere to make the best of it, and I think we're quite good at doing that. So I hope you're soon back to your old self and finding some of that R&R that you deserve.
Jim
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