Feel like an idiot

[MargaretHale]

I want to go out. Only to post some letters, about a 5 min bike ride. But instead I'm sitting here sobbing. I just can't do it.

I just want my life back. I'm so sick of one step forward two steps back. It's making me so tired and fed up of agoraphobia. I've been doing so well lately (albeit with support from my partner) and this is a short trip on my own. Why am I so stupid? Why can't I just get on with it?

Sorry to rant, just feel so stupid and powerless today.

[little wren]

Hi Margaret, I really feel for you. I am going through the same thing at the moment with agoraphobia and a setback. It feels horrible when you lose your hard earned ground. Remember though what you have achieved so far...you sound like you have made good progress with going out with your partner. I don't know but perhaps the road is littered with blips but as long as you do not give up there is hope. Don't be so hard on yourself for this blip. x

[MargaretHale]

Thanks so much for replying littlewren...

I had a good old sob and felt sorry for myself and although I didn't go into town, I walked the dog and felt a bit more positive that a year ago I couldnt have managed this at all.

Thank you for taking the time to reply

xx

[kittikat]

So sorry to hear how you are feeling Margaret, but you are not alone in this. I am having the same issues at the moment, it's like 2 steps forwards and 4 steps back I know what you mean about wanting your life back. I was doing so well until the mother of all panic attacks hit like a bolt out of the blue last week. It has really dented my confidence and I feel so stupid, angry and upset. I couldn't even go to visit my brother & sister in law who have just had a new baby, that upset me the most..... Managed to do the shopping with my partner last night, but it was an ordeal to say the least!! Sometimes it just helps to know you are not alone in this. Sending hugs tomorrow is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself anyway!! Take care, Kitti x

[MargaretHale]

It really does make me feel better, knowing I'm not alone Kittikat. I think my 'relapse' started after a GP receptionist was really rude to me in front of a queue of others last week. she's always rude and normally I'd tell her to ........ off but instead I just had to get out of the surgery as quick as possible. She made me look and feel like an idiot.

aw, hope you get to see the baby soon.. hugs back at you!

xx

[angel wings]

hi Margaret..
im sitting here feeling the same way too ..got to get some milk and bread and dreading going out why ??? i dont know..... it makes you feel really silly as its an every day thing that causes so much worry sorry you are feeling this way too thought i would let you know your not alone

angel xx

[mistymoo]

hi margaret, does your area run a community support program, you may be able to get help and support that way, ive been agoraphobic now for four years, so i know how frustrating it can be, but try to stick at it and youll get there.

[little wren]

Thanks so much for replying littlewren...

I had a good old sob and felt sorry for myself and although I didn't go into town, I walked the dog and felt a bit more positive that a year ago I couldnt have managed this at all.

Thank you for taking the time to reply

xx

You're very welcome - I find the support is good on this site and a lot of people will understand. I just wanted to say I think it was a very good thing that you took the dog out (that is took back some control over the situation - like you said a year ago you would not have managed that). I think I will try that when I have a blip - to do something more manageable at the time. x

[MargaretHale]

Thanks all, I wish I'd found this site earlier. The only good thing is that I told my GP about it and now he's reccomending it to people too!

Angel, I know exactly how you're feeling...I discovered that I have to try and do something..if I give in completely and do nothing I end up feeling worse. Even if it's just cleaning the windows at the front of the house (busy road) so that I'm out in the noise and bustle. It helps to de -sensitise how I feel.

Little Wren, thanks again x

Mistymoo, I'm not sure-just been referred to my local psych. welbeing team so I'm hoping that they might know.

cheers all. Going to try venturing out again today. Wish me luck!

xx

[angel wings]

good luck margaret the window cleaning one is a good idea !!! might have to try that onexx

angel xx