Depressed. Scared

[Worriedgirl87]

I am seriously going through hell right now, hell on earth.

I am so messed up in the head, I doubt anything will bring me back to the person I once was.

I am scared to sleep, when I do finally get sleep I wake up in panic mode, I forget to breathe sometimes I feel like shortness of breath. It's scary and I always fear the worse. I've been to the doctor quite a few times and they have heard my lungs and never say anything about it, but I still get tired fast and stuff and worry.

I'm on my 5 th day of Zoloft and I am so just feeling like so scared that this isn't going to help me and I'm going to live with this anxiety forever. I am so tired and scared of staying up till 4 or 5 am and thinking about what disease I may have and how I'll die , ect. I don't want to die! I cant take this anymore. I feel so alone and helpless! No matter who I talk to I still feel like there is something wrong with me and I am scared to be in my own skin. Like right now I am so tired my eyes close once in a while, but as soon as I try to fall asleep I wake myself up! I am too scared to sleep.

I feel like my neck hurts the front of it, and it scares me. I feel like I need to go to the doctor again just to make sure there is not something wrong with me. But I am EMBARRASED and scared to go because I don't want to find out something bad. I just feel like I have TOO many symtoms. Like the neck pain, headache, insomnia, how can I just not think about this ????


I HATE LIFE. I hate feeling this way.
I'm always scared of something.

[rock chick]

Okay I usually don't suggest this but have you considered tranquillizers? I mean in the short term because you really sound like you need a major break from all this anxiety that's doing this too you and it might actually get you to sleep better despite your fears of doing so.

However counseling really sounds important at this point, I know because I got to a similar point as a teenager, being afraid to sleep, I'd stay awake until I basically just fell asleep because I was scared I wouldn't wake up and with the therapy as well as some other things I was already having I finally moved on from it.

[Danii]

I was like this about 3 months ago. It was horrible. I'd stay up until the sun came up, then doze off for an hour or so then wake up gasping for breath.

I tried Ativan, but as the medication set in I became worried that it would put me to sleep and I wouldn't be able to wake up if there was a problem. What helped me tons was waiting till I was around someone I felt safe near (my mom or boyfriend) and sleeping then. Once you get some good rest in you you should feel more like fighting this. Lack of sleep does so much to someone, its incredible how scary one thing may seem on 2 hours of sleep, then after 8 you realize its irrational. Good luck.

[potato11]

Worriedgirl87

Have you had any CBT. It's essential hand-in-hand treatment with medication, as the main culprit for anxiety and panic are your thoughts

Check out the link in my signature

It is most likely the tension that is causing your breathing "problems". Panic when falling asleep is common as your body has to "let go" and if you're on high alert that can make it difficult. When I used to have particularly anxious days I'd make weird noises with my breathing that would wake me up when falling asleep, they terrified me!

Believe me I know how horrible it feels when you feel like there is something wrong with your breathing and noone seems to understand. But try this - next time you feel short of breath or whatever, instead of getting worked up and trying to take bigger breaths etc, just ignore it (I know this is easier said than done) resist the urge to try and take a 'full breath' etc - even if just for a minute - and the results might surprise you. Because you're not 'feeding' the anxiety your breathing will become a little easier

It's all very subtle - and all to do with fear-adrenaline-fear cycles

That's why you feel so scared about EVERYTHING - because your mind is in the habit of going round and round and 'catastrophising', focusing on negative outcomes

You can and WILL get better from this, I am proof