Hey everyone, Iv been having counselling for a few months now and iv made some really good progress. When I first started I was at a really low point and found it really hard to go out of the house. However, now I'm much more active and I haven't missed a day of college for a month (really good for me!)
Although iv started to face my day to day anxiety and have learnt how to challenge the feelings I used to get, iv now started to concentrate more on other emotions that I'd completely forgotten about cos of the anxiety. I live at home with my dad and my twin brother, and ever since I can remember my brother has mentally abused me. He constantly belittles me calling me lazy and useless, as well as saying that I'm ****ed. My dad witnesses this behaviour but shrugs it off because he doesn't want the hassle of arguing with my brother. Whenever I try to stick up for myself my brother becomes very aggressive and threatening which scares me.
My brother also uses all of my things (moisturiser, shampoo, even razors!) that I have paid for as a way of reinforcing his power. I used to tell my dad and he'd tell me to stop whining. Because I had no way to vent my feelings in a calm way I began to bottle them up, causing me to have aggressive outbursts and smash my room up. Obviously this would create resentment between me and my dad driving us further apart-to my brothers delight.
Even though my anxiety is slowly starting to improve I still have dreams that my brother does something really bad and my friends and family do nothing causing me to shout and swear making them all hate me! I can't help feeling that as long as I'm in this house with my passive aggressive dad and abusive brother il never fully be able to recover! I go to uni in September but until then I just Feel trapped and I have so much pent up emotion that no one will listen too.
I believe that it is years of emotional torment that has finally worn me down and ruined my self esteem causing me to develop anxiety.
What do I do about this situation? Has anyone experienced similar abuse/bullying that has caused them to develop anxiety or depression?
Thanks for taking the time to read this

---------- Post added at 14:57 ---------- Previous post was at 14:51 ----------

Don't know why there's a winky face next to this! Haha