Consumed with rage, anxiety and hopelessness

[WillyB]

Hello again, I have previously posted about my anger but I have to vent.

I am utterly consumed with anger, I cannot stand living with my family any longer and watch my parents let my brother become even more of a useless, selfish, destructive scum bag. I just cannot stand him any longer and the way he dismisses everything that is said to him. I cannot stand how rude he is to my father. I cannot stand how he disregards everyone in this house. My anger is causing me insane anxiety, my anxiety is causing insane anger. I'm flipping out constantly and just want to take my anger out on whatever comes to hand. I have to get out of this bloody house but I just cant, the only thing I might be able to do it move down south to live with my grandma. But I cant just leave my dad behind, every day I get more concerned for him and want to spend as much time as i can with him, but I just cannot stand being in the same house as my brother any longer or im going to totally lose it. I cant work out how anyone can be like that.

I don't know what to do, im breaking down here and I cant do a single thing to make anything better.

[Stormsky]

You cant control your dads reaction to your brother...im sure you would like your dad to take control re. your brother....but i assume he doesnt? have you talked with your dad about him letting your brother get away with things, and how it makes you angry to see it? Is your dad afraid of your brother? I only ask as if your dad isnt bothered about the way your brother is, then thats his decision.
Do you talk to your brother about his attitude?
Have you been to your gp about your anger /anxiety?
You need to start somewhere now, to try and resolve these feelings...

[WillyB]

Its making my Dad depressed, he's miserable and has tried to work with him. I've tried talking with my brother but its just absolutely useless. He makes no effort to change or at least put right what he does wrong, he just doesn't care about anything or anyone other than himself, its beyond selfishness. This just cannot be resolved, there's no way out of here, I can't leave my Dad. Talking to my gp about this also wont help the situation, he can drug me up as much as he wants but it wont solve the issue. I just feel hopeless and trapped.

[Stormsky]

I didnt necessarily mean meds, but maybe therapy for your anger, and helping with that first, then you may be more able to cope at home and maybe actually see things clearer, instead of just through your rage..
Its not an easy situation for you i can see, maybe someone needs to be strong enough to tell your brother if it carries on he will have to move out, as he is not making for a good enviroment for your dad or all of you for that matter...

[Connor_cbt]

Hi,
sorry to hear things are tough for you right now. It must be so frustrating to be
in your position. It sounds like you might benefit from some kind of mediation?
Sometimes it can take an impartial third party to really make people aware of
their behaviour. It also might make your father face up to your brothers
unreasonable behaviour and help him to confront it rather than make excuses
for him. It will take effort from all involved to make it work but if everyone
feels like their side has been heard then sometimes a compromise can be
reached easier. In the UK we have a service called relate
http://relate.org.uk you could try googling to
find similar services near you. I really wish you luck and hope you find some
sort of resolution.

All the best,

[WillyB]

Hi Connor,
Its a nice suggestion but I think its out of the question in my position. I doubt my family would want to participate in it let alone pay for it. I just cant take this much longer, its one thing after another, it will never end.

[Stormsky]

You definately need to seek some help, if you feel your at breaking point...
You cant go on feeling this way...it wont get better unless you try some avenue of help...
Has anyone ever suggested your brother move out? stay with a friend or relative?
Or perhaps you could move out for few days? doesnt mean you cant still contact your dad and make sure things are ok... but you cant help your dad the way you are now, so perhaps remove yourself from it all for few days at least.

[WillyB]

Perhaps I should go see my gp again, I just dont want to harm what chances I have left of getting into the military, sounds like an odd choice for someone with my anxiety issues but I see it as an escape doing something that I actually want to. Perhaps I should move to my Grandma's for a few weeks or something.

Thanks for your help Stormsky, It means a lot to me.