I have been diagnosed with depression and mild anxiety four years ago and have been on fluoxetine and had a year of therapy. The therapy was helpful but when I had started a huge event happened and the therapy was mostly about trying to cope during that time.
Now four years on I have become so much worse, my anxiety is out of control. I panic, the panic is over different things but during that time the panic is so real I cannot fight it. I try to distract but any thought or memory of the thing I am having panic over causes the panic again and I get this sickness feeling and I want to die. I have panic over anything but recently it has been over hair and getting old. My family go white/grey very early and now in my late 20's and I have loads. I want to die over this because I feel I can't cope with the panic this causes. I have researched how I will die, but I cry because I wish I didn't have too. I then think about people who are worse off than me and I feel guilty but I can't help this panic. I am not going to do anything as I have had my white hairs for years now and I have coped well then so I understand I can overcome this. But my question is how can I get rid of this panic/anxiety? I can't cope with the thoughts anymore. I am going to try exercise as I do keep myself inside 24/7 due to anxiety and I eat junk food so I am changing my diet. I am also changing onto sertraline. But with the anxiety of starting a new med I have put it off!! My panic over things last at least a month, this month being me hair and I worry about losing hair, white hair and even dying my hair and getting a reaction so won't be able to anymore. I have also had worries about the end of the world, losing my teeth, people getting into accidents or people not liking me etc. And once in this panic I cannot get out of it, I become obsessed, researching the subject and with my hair this time I am taking daily pictures (up tp 100 a day) just to have some reassurance but this doesn't help.
So please any help as I feel like I am going crazy and I don't want to die but I don't want to live like this anymore. Thank you for reading if anything saying all this has helped get it out of my head!!
Reply With Quote
