Dont feel like i can live with it - stupid thoughts

[anton1983]

Hi all

Just wanted to talk about my condition, write it down somewhere while i can. Firstly like to say im not sucidical well i would never act on it, even if i feel like i could.

I just dont know what to do with myself, ive had a mental health issue since i was 19 im now 28 and life if i looked at it is good, im getting married at the end of the month, i have a job that looks after me with the massive amount of days off i have, i should be happy but im not, well not with myself.

At the moment i just feel like i cant live, my thoughts stop me from doing so much or make me feel like i should be doing something so i cant relax i feel so stuck. The only thing i can do is going on ps3 or surf net as i get so into them i dont think but then i get annoyed that i cant do anything else so it starts all over again.

Ive been told i have ocd which is filled with doubt, i just cant do anything i feel like did i do that, have i hurt someone? Did i say something? Did i pick that up? did i open the door? did i lock the door? just so many questions.

The most annoying one tho is talking as i feel so doubtful all the time. I cant seem to shake off "did i say that? can i talk?" and with that i feel i cant express anything and i get so bored just feel like shutting off.

I know this is all over the place but just writting as it comes to me.

[Stormsky]

ocd has many forms.... i used to have similar thoughts, when driving past cyclists, id think 'did i hit them'? and same with did i lock the door, turn the iron off, etc etc... ocd is sometimes explained as the brain being stuck in gear, keeps repeating same action/thought over and over again....
Read a book called Brain Lock...it explains everything clearly and how to get yourself out of the stuck gear.

[kjm31]

i m sorry to hear that u have these thoughts.i have sexual natured thoughts and at times i doubt myself adn can make myself believe that i m like that way even though i m not. ocd makes u doubt so much. but when u feel positive that u realise how silly they r. have u tried some therapy maby or medication?? ive been seeing a mental health worker and i m no longer drinking coke because of the anxiety it makes u feel. i ve changed to caffeine free which doesnt taste that bad. maby some relaxation methods, ive been trying them aswell but u have to do them when u are calm and not full of anxiety. i hope everything goes well for u and congradulations for getting married soon. if u ever feel like u need to talk pm me