Pure O

[MrRedShirt]

Yeah my mate's fine, he's had OCD since his teens and his family had to kick up a fuss at the time to get decent treatment, but once he got on the clomipramine he was good. He says the Paroxetine seems to be good at maintaining it, and he doesn't forsee coming off it.

I've had a not-great day today actually, but yesterday was actually pretty good, so I'm hoping that was a hint of things to come perhaps. Only day 5 on these new meds, so still early days.

I think you mentioned that book to me too - I'm going to check it out

How're you?

[LAURA48]

Hi there

Sorry you have not had a good day - hopefully tomorrow will be better - it is horrible so up and down. I been waking up with the dread feeling and churning tummy. Even in the day if I have a light snooze (not often) wake up shaking - so horrible.

Yes check out that book - this guy was messed about for 10 years with anxiety and is rid of it now. Very good.

Did your friend with OCD have the rituals and checking - that must be torture.

[MrRedShirt]

Yes, today I woke up exactly like that - fear in the pit of my tummy. I think these meds are currently making me physically tired too, so i succumbed to a nap in the afternoon, while my mind was still racing - that was unpleasant.

My mate did have those checking compulsions and I think still has some very very minor ones, but all told he's now in his mid 30's and generally in remission. He's never gone for therapy, so it's all due to medication.

I've just made some chamomile and spearmint tea

[Emphyrio]

I'm another with 'pure o' - I'm currently off all medications as prozac and citalopram seemed to put me on edge, exacerbating the symptoms (which I guess is the opposite of what usually happens). Have been off cit for 2 months and I'm hoping that the residual agitation I'm getting is because of traces of the meds in my system.

I felt pretty tense these last couple of days (the tenseness seems to trigger the pure 'o' thoughts for some reason) but managed to force myself down the gym today. I also took a 40mg propranolol tablet and the combination of the two have seemed to calm me physically, so I haven't been dwelling on the intrusive thoughts as such.

Oh, Chamomile and spearmint tea - lovely. I'm also off the caffeine which really seemed to make me tense. The only thing left is to give up alcohol but that's going to be quite a challenge.

[MrRedShirt]

I do think that all anxiety symptoms are part of a general spectrum, with Pure O/OCD as part of it. I know I've occasionally had intrusive thoughts at times of my life that have caused me a lot of distress.

Yeah, I decided to give up all caffeine (apart from the occasional chocolate) a while ago. These variety of other teas are quite nice with a bit of honey.

I've never been much of a drinker, and haven't touched any since my anxiety came on last summer.

[LAURA48]

Hi Mr Red - what was your trigger to cause the anxiety - just want to help that all?

[MrRedShirt]

Hi Laura,

Generally? I have no idea! I think I just have a genetic predisposition to over-worry and over-think. There's a lot of history of depression/anxiety in my family tree, so it's no wonder I've succumbed to it.

Specific 'triggers' come and go and I think my anxiety just attaches itself to them arbitrarily - they're things that I know I'd normally deal with (as hard as that may be for me to believe at the time).

OCD/pure O seems to follow that pattern I've found.. the thoughts are in of themselves pretty standard, but they become associated with a level of distress and it's that which makes us revisit them - they never seem to be resolved.

How are you today?

[LAURA48]

Hi there - yes know what you are talking about. Only mine started at 21 - there were signs on the way - but I was terribly bullied at work from the age of 18 until I left at 21 - broken basically.

I worked for the Inland Revenue and bullying was pretty rife! this was early eighties - I had to leave the job as I was in a real state - knocked all the confidence out of me whereby I did not want to go out - felt safe at home - there was no complaints procedure then - my parents - well my mum went down to see the boss - two bosses onto one (my mum) and they had no idea I was so unhappy - yeah right! Tbh this made matters worse - and thing was I used to do the typing/admin for 3 lovely Tax Inspectors - but all of my work was passed through one of the above "old cows". I was very highly qualified - passed typing exams at high levels and did shorthand and I think this caused problems! She just did not like me but employed me??

Anyway did the worst thing in hindsight anxiety won - stayed at home with my thoughts, etc, - I got so down went to my doctor and he offered me a job! to work for him! which really helped, starting go out, etc, met my future husband, moved in with him - then my old friend anxiety came back! but to cut a long story short put on Prozac - took the thoughts away, etc, got married, moved house, etc, 15 lovely years and then bam in October my dog died and have gone back to square one!

Sorry to bore you with all the above!

Feeling less anxious today so far but very lightheaded have a letter come through confirming my appoint 19 April to see the psychiatrist.

Speak to you soon Laura

[MrRedShirt]

Well, I FIRST had panic attacks back in '93 when I went off to uni to study biochemistry. With hindsight I think the panic attacks were a way of 'waking myself up', as that was completely the wrong path for me to be going down - I'm much more of a creative person, but at that age it's easy to go along with whatever you think the world wants of you.

In some respect, I think this latest bout of anxiety is serving the same purpose, although I'm still trying to work it all out and what it means at this stage of my life.

That book I mentioned - 'When Panic Attacks', discusses a 'hidden emotion' idea. Basically people who suffer from anxiety are the nicest people around and don't like confrontation, to the extent that we'll make ourselves suffer in order to please and avoid speaking up. Because we don't speak up, the anxiety comes in as a sort of 'sick note' which gives us an unavoidable way out of a difficult situation... There's something of your story that has hints of that perhaps?

It's all interesting theory! Applying it to real life is where it gets tricky

Not long now till your appointment! Have you met before or will this be an introductory session?

[LAURA48]

Hi Mr RS

That was interesting - think we (anxiety sufferers) are people pleasers.

This will be my first appoint 90 mins - I hope he is ok - seems well qualified.

How are you at the moment - still anxious? - I just had a snooze earlier and woke up without the churning - miracle!

Speak to you soon Laura