Well ive taken a big step forward today and went to the doctors and asked her to sign me of the sick. She wasnt sure i was ready for it but started to get the feeling its now or never. Strange but in a way i am looking forward to getting back into a routine after 10 weeks of but on the other hand am dreading it. What if i panic and want to get out, and if i do ive failed again. A thousand things are going through my head and now i am asking myself why i was so positive when i went to the doctors. Couldnt have even been the wine that made me decide to go to doctors today to get signed back on to work because i didnt touch a drop last night!!!!!!!!! LOL Well i suppose by Monday night i will have worked myself into a total state worrying about Tuesday morning. Another problem do i get my mum to have Samantha monday night so i can go into work at 6.30 and miss the day staff coming on at 7. Imagine it will be so much harder going in with the crowds all asking how i am etc. Decisions!!!! Well i suppose the biggest one has been made today and i cant go back on it, plus i sent my return to work note in first class today so they will know i am coming back. Well i can only try, but just a bit anxious how hard it will be trying, plus ive chosen a week where my close friends at work are all on leave, so if "go in to one" there is no one there who understands. Maybe should stop thinking now until Tuesday morning. Going to iron my uniform now then at least i can get used to seeing it hanging in my bedroom.
Sal xxxx