I fear my depression's coming back :(

[Lizziesaurus]

I admit myself that although for the past 8 or so months I have put a brave face on things sometimes but now I just feel so blah.
I had a sort of screening interview for a new job today but just felt so deflated afterwards, I doubt I'll get a 'yes please come back' off the guy and even though I'm seeing a recruitment agents on Monday I'm not holding much hope out in todays current climate for someone age 22 who has had only 1 proper job and everything is related to travel.
Anyway, so that's getting me down and the fact that work are now saying they have to see if I'm capable of doing my job.. that I've been doing 4 years... the way my manager spoke to me about the fact that 'it's always something, either your back or last year you thought you had bipolar' and she kept sayingI don't doubt it's not true but we've done everything we can which is a blatent lie. I won't rant about everything here but management are going to see a horrible side to me!
I'm just so worried I'm about to lose my job, and then lets be honest I can't pay rent without a job so basically I'm screeeewed. I'm in the union but I'm not sure how much they can do.

I think I feel teary that I stayed at my parents last night and it was just nice to be home you know? I miss my family and I miss my close friends that are just scattered across the country. The one really close friend I had at work was sacked a few months ago so I don't see her now (yes, they just love to sack people).
I feel very lonely and I want so badly to have a house and family but there's a bridge I just can't quite cross to get there

Sorry for the rant but I just feel so rubbish at the moment and I need to get it out. I don't want this awful deamon to come back to haunt me again.

[Stormsky]

hi Lizz
sorry to hear you are feeling down,
you say your lonely, do you live alone then?
you are young and have sooooo much to look forward to... you can always move, you can always get a new job...so many options for you...your never stuck...
Do you take meds??
Exercise is good for depression/anxiety... what do you do in your spare time, any hobbies?
Do you parents live close? and understand what your going through?
Sorry to ask so many questions, but want to help but need more info..

[Lizziesaurus]

I used to live alone but my boyfriends always here now, although we don't offically live together. I'd love to properly somewhere else but it's finding money to do that.
I'd love to get a new job but I don't even know what I want to do with my life. I have been bike riding recently and I feel better in myself for doing that but only because I've put on some weight.
My parents live about 60 miles away. They have no idea what I'm going through, noone does at the moment. I don't like admiting weakness, especially because I've been doing so well.
I think I get so bummed cos my boyfriend has family and friends up the road (although apparently 20 mins away is too far) and he says I just sit in alot. But I don't know any different. My friends round here are work friends, and I see them at work. My longest closest friend in a 40 min drive away and she's going abroad for a year this summer. My other friend has moved to newcastle so I've not seen her since christmas?

[Stormsky]

Firstly, anxiety/depression is not a weakness, its a sign that we have been trying to be strong for too long... you should consider talking to your family about how you feel, the more support you have the better...
Have you been to your GP?
Its good that you exercise, it benefits you in so many ways, mentally and physically.
Do you get on well with your boyfriends family and friends?

[blueangel]

Hi Lizzie

If you're in the union, I advise you get in touch with them asap. I'm a senior trade union official where I work, so have to deal with a lot of people with sickness/capability problems.

When you see a rep, here are a few things that might help you on the way:

* if you have one specific problem that you have had for at least 12 months that isn't going to go away (including mental health problems), then that places you under the Equalities Act (replaced the Disability Discrimination Act). This means that an employer has to make reasonable adjustments to help you do you job (however, the key word here is "reasonable"
* Get the details of all your periods of sickness since you've been in your job - you're entitled to have these. Then, being really honest with yourself, go through it and see if there are any patterns (as your managers will do this). Have you tended to be off sick at certain times of year? Just before bank holidays? Fridays/Mondays?
* Think through what (if anything) your employers have done to help you stay in work, or return to work if you've had to take long periods off sick. Again, you need to be really honest with yourself about this. Have they offered you the opportunity to go to Occupational Health? Offered any support in terms of graduated return to work? Do they offer counselling? Have they provided you with any changes to your working environment or working hours? Have they threatened any action for sickness before?

These things will help you plan a response if they decided to pursue a capability case against you.

Now, the nasty bit - sorry. Employers can and do dismiss people for having a lot of time off sick; they're legally entitled to do this.

To look at it from their point of view, they can't deliver the work they need to without a full complement of workers, and it places stress on other members of the team when people are off.

However, to do a "fair dismissal" they will have to prove the following:

* that they have taken account of any long-term problems which fall under the Equalities Act and made whatever reasonable adjustments they can
* that they can prove that your sickness is worse than other people who do the same job
* that they have attempted to help you stay in work
* that the action they take against you is fair and proportionate - in other words, it could be harsh if they just sack you abruptly for sickness without having gone through a proper process.

Hope this is helpful - drop me a PM if you want any more advice.

[Lizziesaurus]

I get on well with my boyfriend yes, but like today he really pissed me off. He sat there and said work were right and everything and that I'm naive. I don't need him to say work are wrong, I just need him to support me.

Anyway, thanks so much for that advice, it's really useful. I never knew that back pain falls under the equality act. I'm going to request a copy of my file tomorrow and go through it.
Do you know if it's possible to ask to take someone in with me that is from unite but that is an outside body. My rep is good but he's very friendly with management/HR and I don't think fights as much as he can for people (he's still quite new to the role) I also know it makes work sit up abit if somebody other comes in but I don't know if that's something I can request?