I give up

[Karen]

Thanks Jean. It is very kind of you to continue supporting me.

Right now I feel sooo sick :(

Karen xx

[Piglet]

Thanks for answering all those questions [:I]

I guess we will have to just see how things pan out at the clinic - which is a bit of an up in the air situation but hey ho!

Meanwhile all these other things are interesting, we've got the group sessions, the womens group and now this NHS assessment. I feel like I missed something somewhere on how all this got arranged and who by. Forgive me, I can be terribly woolly sometimes!

Anyway pumkin I hope you feel less sick as the evening wears on. I am feeling somewhat stressed purely due to my manic behaviour on Ebay. I have almost done a whole winter wardrobe on a complete shoestring (alot of the stuff is brand new too) even landing a Monsoon coat, yes a Monsoon coat!!!! The bidding is very stressful though and I find myself completely losing the plot, abandoning my maximum amount and leaping 10ft in the air when I win, but weilding a bat when I don't.

I am sure normal shopping was never like this. Infact I have come to realise shopping is secondary here - it's every man for himself. Be afraid, be very afraid.[}][:I]

Big hugs

Love Piglet xx

[smithjam1]

Hi Karen

I am new to all this, just checking to see you are alright?

J

[Karen]

Piglet - Remind me never to bid against you in an Ebay auction lol . Sounds like you found some good buys there!

The NHS assessment was pushed for by my doctor mainly I think. I was on the waiting list but she has been pushing for CBT. This assessment doesn't say what kind of therapy (if any) will be offered. I would still prefer to see the private therapist I had an assessment with initially.

J: Thanks for your message and welcome to the forum. I'm ok-ish. Still feeling rather sick at present.

Karen xx

[Karen]

Just heard K is off to Ireland again until Friday :(

[Quirky]

Hi Karen,

Sorry you're feeling sick, hope you feel better soon.

Thanks for explaining about the groups activities, I can understand you not want to go swimming or some of the eating ones but maybe you could compromise on some or only attend some outings. For instance go blackberry picking and not have an ice cream afterwards, or to the pub and drink mineral water (if they are only having a drink and not eating etc). Maybe give it one more go at least, you may even make some friends. Anyway it's up to you but I'm just saying don't dismiss things really.

It's worth seeing what the NHS can offer then you will know what's what. Did the lady you saw for the CBT assessment ever say if she would see you privately?

Piglet - wow at all that shopping, don't think I've ever brought anything on ebay! I don't buy clothes online as I never know if they will fit, womens sizes vary so much it seems! Good for you though, what a stylish Piglet we have!

Night sis, hope you sleep better tonight and feel better soon,

Hugs,

Lisa x

[Piglet]

The trick is Lis to put in the makes you like in the search box - for me thats 'NEXT' and a few various others and on the whole I know I am a certain size in their stuff and that they are fairly consistent. Mind you I have had the odd thing that didn't fit - I will resell them when I get the confidence to not be just a buyer.

It's marvellous when you pick up something that you know was £30 and you get it for £4. Fingers crossed I havent had anybody stitch me up as yet. I once this summer even bought garden strimmer wire - ebay is fab for agoraphobics as there is very little that I can't buy!

Night guys

Love Piglet xx

[Paddington]

Hello Karen,soz it's been a few days hun,i have been feeling rotten,and the ruddy pc packed in!!!Gosh when i miss your posts you seem to have had a right nightmare by the time i post back!!!!I am so glad it seems to have resolved itself hun,And VERY GLAD you did not do a runner!!!!We have all felt likeit at some point in our lives!Your dr has come up trumps again hasn't she,i am so glad tyou haVE her Karen.The berry picking sounds fun!Am with you over the swim suit thu..YUK....hun trust me if i was in a swim suit the pool would empty..i think i wear as many clothes when i go paddling as i do when i go shopping,hence igo in september,ha ha ha!!Hey Piglet i bought some tickets off e-bay ,cost me a fortune ,they have gone down now,!!!!It gave me such a high i can see it could get addictive!!!Your coat sounds fab!WellKaren i am offf on friday so will be missing for a week ..AGH!!!!Look after your wee self hun while i am away,please!You are always in my thoughts and prayers too.We are all rooting for you [and the angels too.]Speak to you b4 i go tho,God bless.love mary rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[Quirky]

Just saying hi Karen,

Hope you're ok today.

Lisa x

[Karen]

Hi Guys.

Mary Rose: Sorry you have been feeling ill. Are you feeling better now? It was the whole atmosphere of the group I went to yesterday that I didn't feel safe or happy to be in and the more I have been thinking about it the less I want to go back.

I do hope you have a good time while you are away even if you are not looking forward to it.

Lisa: Thanks sis.

The group from yesterday hopefully won't be an issue now because it seems the women's centre group in Eastbourne that I have been waiting for information about is only on a Monday morning too. I would rather be at the one for women only but have to prepare a case to be put before a meeting next week to see whether I can get a place.

I feel really fed up and despair of what to do next though to be honest. I was led to believe that this was a drop in centre that runs throughout the week when in fact it is only one morning a week. When my time at the clinic comes to an end what am I supposed to do then?

When I tried to put my concerns across to someone this morning they were quite patronising to me and said I need to find ways to fill time myself. That might well be the case but the fact is that I feel unable to do that at present and one of the reasons it was felt I needed day care in the first place :(. Whichever way I turn I hit a dead end.

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Did the lady you saw for the CBT assessment ever say if she would see you privately?</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Yes, I enquired a while ago but she has a waiting list at present. I am more likely to go down that route than with the NHS and I am petrified of this assessment tomorrow. But the private therapist is concerned that I won't have any other support outside of our sessions as she thinks it is vital that I have regular ongoing support to start with. It doesn't seem to exist though.

I am not feeling sick today basically because I haven't eaten. It is a simple cure really - don't eat and therefore I don't get the nausea. I'm feeling very tired though so might try to go for a nap.

One positive to end this negative post on. We had group CBT this morning (the first one with the CBT therapist for 2 weeks as he's been on holiday). We have been going through human needs and looking at ways we meet or don't meet this needs in our lives. I spent quite a lot of time doing the work for this.

It seemed though that others in the group either hadn't done it or didn't want to discuss it because when he asked for feedback everyone else said they hadn't written anything, whereas I had typed mine and he could see I had the notes in front of me. He asked me if I would share what I had written for one of these needs and I had a moment of panic [:O]. So he asked whether he could read out what I had written. I was squirming in my chair (thinking it all sounded stupid and rubbish [:I]) but I let him read it out loud to the group.

I know it isn't the same as saying it myself but I wouldn't even have let someone else read what I'd written for other people to hear a while ago, particularly when no one else was sharing their thoughts at that point. I did manage to speak in the group too. I'm going to miss this when I have to leave when it is the one group I feel I am really benefitting from. [Sigh...]

Karen xx