hello!
after two weeks off, its back to college tomorrow. im dreading it. im going to be so tired, i have medical conditions that make me so tired all the time anyway i need to sleep but im worried i wont be able to sleep so im just sat up on my laptop..
i hate being at college, i feel so stuck. i panic that i cant get home. i convince myself im going to faint, or i feel like cant breathe. my eyes go all blurry and i get headaches.. i cant concentrate on work, im going to full behind :( im handing in an assignment which i know is rubbish and im pretty sure im going fail. :(
On thursday me, my older brother and my boyfriend planned a day out to a city near us. we all struggle with different kinds of anxiety. My brother has his own difficulties which cause him to freak out in public and my boyfriend just isnt too keen on shopping and people in general haha. Me and my brother are like rocks for eachother so we thought that going out together may help relieve some stress but as soon as we planned it iv been freaking out. things like.. what if i faint? what i get sick on the train? what if im sick? what if i have diarrhea? (gross i know, but its one of my main worries) if anything goes wrong i feel like theres nowhere i can go. the train journey is atleast 45minutes. i determind not to let my brother down. just need abit of reassurance?
sorry for the long rambling post, just needed to vent :(
xx
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