plz some one help me I beg u

[adam stone]

Hi and thanks emz and laura I totally understand wat ur saying and its clear there's no instant cure I have had this problem before in my teens but no where near this bad and I was on citalipram for a fair few years and an ex partner persuaded me to come off em wish I didn't now but here I am in the gutter again its been a horible few years to be fair I got back with my sons mum and was over the moon I was seeing my son ever day and we went to turkey on holiday it was great I never felt better shortly after that holiday in october 2011 she left me I was heart broke and never really got over it I still had my son every other day wich was amazing but now I'm back at my parents and my son stops there with me every other day I'm mentioning this just incase it could be a factor why I relapsed will I really get any better??? And the head aches a daily there's just so much going on I have great friends but find that I tend to freak out more round them the only @eople I like being with is my mum and son I look back at my holiday and think how on earth did I ever do that I can't even drive no more the symptons r beating me

---------- Post added at 14:45 ---------- Previous post was at 14:32 ----------

Hi emz and laura thank u for talking time out to talk to me I totally understand wat ur both saying and you will both no how hard it is when u get to this point the head aches r killers convinced my self its a brain tumour wat else could it be head aches every day for 3 months? I no the citalipram will do me good I was on them years back and an ex partner persuaded me to come of them so I did wish I didn't now tho but any way my life got back on track I got back with the mother of my son and was over the moon she was my childhood sweatheart any way it was all good we even went on holiday to turkey in september last year but shortly after in october she left me wich destroyed me I was hurting so bad but I still get to spent time with my son I'm back at my mums now so he comes down three times a week and at weekends I'm still close to his mum as well I'm mentioning this incase it could be the reason I relapsed??? I have good friends but find my self panic more round them so there's only my mum my sons mum and my son I feel safer round

---------- Post added at 15:02 ---------- Previous post was at 14:45 ----------

Sorry for commenting twice I didn't no it had gone on stupid phone

[honester]

Hi Adam, I was diagnosed 2 years ago and was really very bad - intense feelings of unreality / didn't feel real etc. I thought i was going crazy and would end up locked up in a padded room!! I have a little girl and a husband and my feelings for them became 'numb' - I knew i loved them a lot but nothing felt real (hope this makes sense).

It's called depersonalisation / derealisation - a couple of sites helped me gain an undersatnding / acceptance of these symptoms:
anxiety no more (the book a life at last)

linden method

claire weekes books

and of course this site.

I've developed health anxiety - convinced I have a brain tumour because i get shooting / stabbing pains in my head, headaches, strange vision and hearing. It's like a switch goes off in my head and then the anxiety begins!

The conclusion is clear - don't feel afraid of your symptoms and they will decrease and diminish eventually.

| promise you when I say I was really very bad with it all but it gets easier and things return back to normal when you just learn that actually there is nothing wrong with you - you are not physically or mentally ill.
Don't spend your days reading all the negative / bad comments on forums - you need positive mental attitude!!!
So in a nut shell CHILL OUT and STOP WORRYING!!
Sarah

[adam stone]

Hi sarah yes that's how I feel as soon as I open my eyes I feel it and its freaking me out how long will I feel like this? I miss my life and playing with my son I begged my mum to hospitalise me so some one can look after me I feel that bad u sound like such a strong person I wish I had ur power does medication work ?? I'm at my wits end

---------- Post added at 11:49 ---------- Previous post was at 09:28 ----------

And I'm same wi head aches I have them every day I have for past 3 month and this is when anxiety started the pain is un real and I also believe its a tumour it can't be owt else

---------- Post added at 12:56 ---------- Previous post was at 11:49 ----------

I can't vtake it every things werid I'm cracking up I'm so scared this is the end for me I'm loosing it

[snoopy22]

Hi Adam, I have experienced the same thing youare feeling its the "derealization" that you're feeling. It always happens to me after a build up of extreme anxiety and then it starts on top of the anxiety I have and then it causes more anxiety. You feel as if you will never feel normal again. The feelings of talking to your kid or whoever and it just doesn't feel "real" or you're at the store or even in your own home, you feel like nothing is real around you. It is very scary feeling, but it will pass. You will snap out of it, with meds or no meds. I do suggest the meds though. I am recently going through an anxious period for the last 4 weeks, high anxiety feeling all day no appetite etc. I just started zoloft yesterday. I had only been off of it for 3 months and now going back on cuz a spike in my anxiety came back. I was originally on it for 9 years. It did help a lot. Please try and relax and know u are not going to feel the derealization/anxiety forever, I know easier said than done! I ought to talk to myself like this sometime, maybe my anxiety would stay away good luck

[adam stone]

Hi snoopy yes that is how I feel more a less constantly and like there no end in sight and cos I wana get better so bad it gets me down and the head aches every day just add to all the problems well its doctors again in morning see wat he says I no he will just say take the meds wich I will force my self to do I want my life back so bad I've lost interest in just about every thing and I'm house bound clearly not a way to live a life I feel for u and any one who is going threw this cos its just the hardest in the world I have another mri scan booked for next monday I'm horified even thinking bowt going for it leaving yhe house is a masive task never mind the hospital but I need to no wat these head aches r as I'm convinced its a tumour wich again is so wrong to think but I can't think ov any other reasons for them thanks again for ur words and support

[snoopy22]

You're welcome Adam. With my anxiety, its all about dwelling on a certain "symptom that my body gives and I dwell on it too, until I'm convinced its horrible too. Its awful!! I am so glad I found this site, as its the first messag board I've ever written on before, and I started having anxiety/panic when I was 18, now 35. I am sure you are just fine. The meds will definitely help you. I have never tried valium or xanax type meds, like u just took. But I've only been on the zoloft and it worked, still anxiety here n there with it, but nothing like I am experincing now being off of it. (Just started it last night again). So hopefully it'll go back to working for me. If u take something similar to Zoloft, please give it a try even if it gives u side effects in the beginning, they usually pass. Hang in there. Sit in a quiet room by yourself and breathe in and out of your nose slowly, 5-6 times , periodically throughout the day or try some easy yoga postures, look online. It does take the edge off a little. Kit!

[adam stone]

Ye it really sucks I been back to docs this morning and he said to take 20 mg citalipram a day and a valium if things r still bad till the cit gets in my system he seems convinced the cit will work and in a few weeks time I will start to feel a bit better wish I had the same hope as he does I'm starting to feel sick when waking up from sleep I mentioned this to him and he says that its not the valium abd probs the anxiety cos I have it so bad at the min wich I dobut I keep telling my self it can't be anxiety making me feel like this it must be some thing major no way anxiety can make some one feel so bad and the derealisation is so freaky and constant I just hope in time I can come back on here and read wat I put and and be miles better I just no its going to take a while but the meds start tn8 I'm gunna take the cit at night to hopefully sleep some side effects of if I have any the doc says not every one gets em

[snoopy22]

Good to here that you are starting the med. When you wake up you said you are feeling sick, that can definitely be from anxiety and the meds also. But, more likely the anxiety since u just started taking the valium. If it makes u feel better , here's how my morning goes: I wake up (usually earlier than usual) and immediately I feel hot and my stomach is turning, gurgling, knots I end up feeling really hot, chest and stomach feel like high anxiety and butterfly feeling. I automatically think about how I will feel for the day etc etc. Mornings are the WORST time of day for me. If you are feeling anything like that, then its anxiety. Some days I will feel like this ALL day. My anxiety and physical symptoms are better but definitely not gone, at night time. I hope this gives u some comfort and I too cannot wait to come back here and write my success story with getting back on meds and feeling so much better. The derealization is sooooooo annoying, I know...I had it 24/7 for a long time . U need to do some relaxation, yoga, meditation. Might sound silly or might not think about it cuz u r so anxious righ now, but just try it. Kit!

[bubba]

Hi Adam
Im sorry you feel so sad at the mo. My advice would be to start the meds asap. Diazepam will help just stick with it hun. You are prob feeling sick due to anxiety rather than diazepam. We are all here to help any time,

[Kendra]

Hi Adam,

Sorry to but in on your thread but just read through it and wanted to say please please please give cit a try!!

Reading your posts you sounded exactly like me a few months ago!! I tried so hard to fight it without any help from meds as I was so frightened!! But 7 weeks ago after a massive melt down at work I decided I had to do something and couldnt go on like this!! I couldnt even look after my 2 year old son without the help of my mam and hubby constantly being around.

I was only given 10mg and now what I difference!!! I am doing normal day to day tasks etc still have fears of doing things but with practise and positive thinking I know I will get there.

What you have to remember is the way you are feeling now and would it be so bad for a short while MAYBE and I say MAYBE cos you may not get any side effects at all, feeling a little bit worse so that you will be better??

I too suffered when I was 18 with the same illness and got through it and that was 12 years ago!! If You did it then, then you WILL do it again!!!

NMP has been my lifesaver (and cit) and I have met some brilliant people who have seen me through some of the darkest days of my life!!

I take my meds on a night also!! Still darenlt change to a morning!! But thats me, it the way I am and you will be fine.

We are all here to help and support you!!

Take care!!

Kendra xx