how do you feel??

[Ma Larkin]

I'm like Pips, waiting for the anxiety to come. Its just started now because I've got no Diazepam left & I know its all in my head. I come on the site & it calms me down. My heart is racing, & never a day goes by when I'm not anxiety free. Doesn't it make you wonder what we did to deserve this bloody curse. I think I must have been an axe murderer or something in a previous life lol!!

Les

[PUGLETMUM]

hi, i am the same in that anxiety is never completely gone. last night i managed to go to the petrol station on my own (i have never done that in the years iv'e been driving, as passing my test coincided with me getting ill!! ) and i got a few things from the supermarket and then drove to pick up my daughter. i also brought my daughter home, even though this is one of my biggest fears (being alone with her and panicking) and we were on our own for just over an hour.

so you'd think i'd be feeling really positive today, but i'm not i feel quite anxious, and i've avoided being alone with her today as she's been on a school trip and has come home early - her gran went with her, so shes taken her home.

anyway i'm going on and on, the question i wanted to ask is how do the people who feel equally anxious continue to do stuff and not avoid things?

is it because my fear is being with my daughter and being out of control seems worse than other people because it means i have to rely heavily on some-one else, whereas if i had health anxiety i would'nt be directly avoiding something so it would'nt be so noticable.

i'm not sure if i'm making this clear, but i feel that other people seem to be able to lead relatively normal lives and my life is dominated with this fear of being alone with my daughter and not being able to cope, and it means i lack confidence in EVERYTHING because if i can't cope with myself at home alone how am i going to be able to move on and be more able?

can anybody who lives a more 'normal' life, as in has'nt become agoraphobic give me any advice or let me know how they manage not to avoid so much? or do you actually feel equally as bad but maybe you've had a job at the time you've got ill and it's helped you to focus so you've actually not got any worse?

is there anyone feeling as bad about being alone, as this is the biggest thing i struggle with.

emmas

[DaveC]

Yes i do.. but its now 8 months for me

I have a really addictive 2D Online player game thats a real distraction

I almost never ever think of panic when i play it

Intrested?, add me Real_jjleo@hotmail.com

[**whenwillthisend**]

well i feel that with this anxiety when it all first started i could have easily become agrophobic but with a 3 and 1 year old realised i had to push myself and im glad i did as i feel i would have got so much worse.....it is hard and i fear a lot but i only go local eg to town or mums i wont go down the motorway anymore and there is places such as supermarkets i will go in but someone as to be with me....
like ma larkin says what have we all done to deserve this... im so fed up of it and like emmas i too look at other people who seem to be happy and lead'NORMAL LIVES' where as ours is took over by evil anxiety...oh i wish it would go......
like you emmas i too hate being alone and have a fear i will pass out...oh what a joy to live like this......

[julieG]

I too have days where it becomes obsessional - cant get anxiety out of my head no matter what I do. THought i was going mad at one point. Then other times I realise I havent thought about it for a while and I shock myself! It comes and goes - when I have a couple of good days I think im on the way to total recovery - then bang! back again - back to square 1. I know its not the case and that down days are part of recovering but it doesnt half get me down!

I cant believe that almost every post seems to relate to my symptoms in one way or another - amazing!

take care all - heres' to a good day today

julie x

[carol1969]

Everyday i have uncomfortable feelings and anxiety. Some days the feelings are stronger than others. Sometimes it starts the second i open eyes and wont go away all day.
Carol x

If you have peace of mind you have everything

[PUGLETMUM]

hi whenwillthisend, i've just read this whole thread, and i'd like to just encourage you to not let go of the fact that you have not completely given into these feelings and they will get better if you can try and be positive.

i like you have a child although she is now 8, but my anxiety started i realise now when i was pregnant, and i have never been housebound, because obviously your worrying all of the time what it will do to them if they see you NEVER going out, plus you've got to do things with them. i've been able to have whole chunks of time to myself while my mother-in-law has taken over the role of carer,(which i know has made me worse as i've been able to give in - it's just so much easier to avoid the pain of feeling like this), in as much as she enables us to do normal things like take our daughter to things i can't go to. plus i'd also like to say that agoraphobia is not actually a fear of OPEN spaces as is widely believed, it is actually a fear of being TRAPPED and unable to get to a safe place.

you will get better if you believe you can!!

love emmas -