Fed up dealing with my partner's anxiety.

[e217]

Thank you for sharing Jake! Much appreciated, although it makes me feel sad to hear that as a sufferer you try to be strong and shoulder the burden.

[jake1234]

Its amazing what we can shoulder. I have two grown children that come to me for so many things. I have a brother that calls me every other day for support because he's depressed. My wife depends on me for EVERYTHING, from mowing the yard to car maintenance to general emotional support. Work depends on me to put in at least 10 hours a day to keep things running smooth.

Sometimes its no wonder I get overwhelmed!

[Sherylynmy]

Struggling100...I've been searching the net trying to find others going through what I am. Your post could've been written by me. It is so difficult going through these ups and downs of dealing with my guys anxiety. Some days it ok, but when it's not....it's horrible. Three times now I have found a new place to live. When I'm about to leave, he makes all these promises about change. About how much he loves me. I then feel guilty thinking about leaving....like I'm abandoning him, leaving someone when they really need help. There is much more to this, but I just wanted to say it is a comfort (for lack of better word) to know that others are going through this.

---------- Post added at 08:18 ---------- Previous post was at 08:03 ----------

I can so relate to the "walking on eggshells to now wake the horrible side". It is killing me inside. How do you learn to live with this?

[Colicab85]

I got a little upset reading this to be honest.

I feel so terrible for my partner, we've just bought a beautiful new house together and I was just so daunted by it all. All the moving, decorating, everything.

I spent nearly everyday lying on the floor just crying, while she worked around me and tried to make me feel better.

She really doesn't deserve all my bullshit that I've put on her.

[KatiePink]

I got a little upset reading this to be honest.

I feel so terrible for my partner, we've just bought a beautiful new house together and I was just so daunted by it all. All the moving, decorating, everything.

I spent nearly everyday lying on the floor just crying, while she worked around me and tried to make me feel better.

She really doesn't deserve all my bullshit that I've put on her.

I can understand this i've put my partner through so much and yet he's so understanding and caring, he would literally do anything for me and sometimes it gets me really down that i've caused so much upset, i am very appreciative and always let him know that and do nice things when i can. He says he is happy and he just wants me to be happy, he's had it really rough so i always try to think about that when i'm going through a bad patch. Not to make myself feel like crap but just to acknowledge it x

[Colicab85]

I can understand this i've put my partner through so much and yet he's so understanding and caring, he would literally do anything for me and sometimes it gets me really down that i've caused so much upset, i am very appreciative and always let him know that and do nice things when i can. He says he is happy and he just wants me to be happy, he's had it really rough so i always try to think about that when i'm going through a bad patch. Not to make myself feel like crap but just to acknowledge it x

It;s just so awful cos as the man in the relationship, I should be so much stronger than I am.

I should be decorating and supporting her and all I've done is wallow and just let her down.

Shes so great.

[KatiePink]

It;s just so awful cos as the man in the relationship, I should be so much stronger than I am.

I should be decorating and supporting her and all I've done is wallow and just let her down.

Shes so great.

Yeah i get how you feel totally and understandably it's going to make you upset thinking about it like that, but i'd try not to think i'm the man i should be .. ect ect and instead think you are a partnership and you're there for each other through the good and the bad. A lot of men/women don't care enough, and it's clear that you do, just make sure you let her know how appreciative you are i am sure she wouldn't want you to be down about that.

[Colicab85]

Thanks!

I just want it to fully go now.

[samadensam]

Every year we plan a holiday my partner who suffers anxiety gets me to book my time off to coincide with his but as the time gets closer I see the signs and once again it gets cancelled this is now hapening for short breaks I know he can't help it but it's wearing thin we argue he won't get medication we then don't speak for days I am losing sleep now through guilt but feel there me real damage to our 22 year relationship as a partner of an anxiety sufferer I offer support but it's effecting me he turns it on me and it's all my fault for as he says not understanding I get the brunt every time what do I do I love him but getting close to walking away

[TiredH]

I have a question to those of you who are either married or in committed relationships.

I am dating a girl right now, and things could be getting serious soon. Before anything else is said let me say that I love her and she is wonderful and amazing. That being said, she suffers from Anxiety. When i met her she was just fine, then she left on a volunteer service mission that was supposed to last 18 months, but developed this anxiety and needed to come home several months ago. I know full well that its not any one persons fault that she suffers from this monster. She wishes it would just end, more than anything else in the whole world.

I guess my question is, would you have married or committed like you have if you had known your partner suffered from anxiety, assuming of course that you didn't know before? On the one had, it seems very wrong to say "you know, i love you but you have this problem that I don't want to deal with, so ciao!"......and on the other, when considering marriage, doesn't one need to take into account their own feelings and concerns about committing to the other person? After reading some of these posts I am slightly more worried about it than I was before. Also, knowing her, she would not WANT to put someone through all these things that everyone had been talking about. On that note though, I care more about her and her needs than my own at this point....which can be a good thing as long as it is not taken to far.....

Anyone who had read this far can clearly see that I have a lot I need to figure out haha. Im guessing you all can sort of see where I am coming from though. Any input would be lovely!

If I'm honest, it really depends how much you love her and if you think that you can put up with the ups and the downs of her condition. You will feel like a carer at times in having to put up with her anxiety. In the OP, I have experienced most of what is described and think to myself that our marriage could be seen as almost emotional abuse, but at the end of the day I love her and we are set up fairly well. She will cross some lines but ultimately it is about how you deal with her issues as well as your own. You might even find (like I have) that the anxiety attacks actually decrease the more that she is happy and if you can be the man to make her happy then that is all the more satisfying for both of you, although there will be dips (like in any marriage).

If I'd have known the extent of her condition before we got married?! Well...I don't know...actually I think I would have been more prepared to deal with her condition and helping to support her through it, and reach out for a forum like this...Also, is it not good to know now before you get hitched? Everyone carries baggage around with them, some more than others...it just depends how strong your back is to help each other lug it around.