cant have a relationship

[tricia56]

hi dont know if this is the right place to post but just need to talk to some one about having relationships as ive been single foe 7yrs now and have anxiety for the 5/6yrs and im scared to get involved with another man because of the way i ami.e living with anxiety 24/7 . i have a male friend who ive none for 6yrs now and used to meet him for meals etc but when i got bad with my anxiety i stoped seeing him but kept intouch thro emails and txts and he knows i suffer with anxiety but he would still like to meet up for a coffee or meal or even come to my home but i keep making exuses up for not seeing him because of the way i am. as when im anxiouse i cant sit still i move back and forth on edge etc and i feel as if i look like like freak or some one who is not all there i know i shouldnt feel like this but i cant help it as even around my children and family and friends i feel like it because of behaviour pattern when im anxiouse. ive no self asteem or conviendence nomore and i dont want to loose the friendship i have with my friend or push him away but i think because i keep making exuses not seeing him im pushing him away as i do like him alot he is a dear friend to me but im so scared to meet him now because of the way i am as wat if i have a anxiety attack or panic attack while im with him and i d feel so inbarrassed

[BobbyDog]

I understand where you are coming from, as I have the same problems, I have allianated myself from everybody.
But, you obvoiusly have a very good and caring friend there, perhaps you can talk this over with him via email, letter or telephone. It seems that he likes you the way you are.

[theharvestmouse]

I understand as well, its a bad situation to be in but I would say that you should try to keep in touch with your male friend as he may understand it all if you explain it to him.

[kittikat]

I think it's pretty normal for us to 'shut ourselves away' when we suffer with anxiety and panic. If this guy is a true friend, he will accept you for what you are. He may not totally understand what you are going through, but he does seem to care for you as your post would suggest. I agree with BobbyDog here, try and talk it over via email ot letter so that he has a better understanding of how you are feeling and why you are not always able to commit yourself to social situations. It's a tough one, but you shouldn't put your life on hold, we all need a really good friend sometimes, and actually they don't come along too often these days!! Good luck hun....

Kitti

[Beckybooboo]

Hi,

I just want to say well done for posting as it takes a lot of courage to come forth and seek advice from other people, but let me assure you that you're not alone in this.

Anxiety in itself is a terrible thing, the way I look at it is like living a nightmare. You try so desperately to get out of it and focus on the things that you want but the anxiety takes a hold of you and wants you to stumble and fall back & because of the fear it causes unfortunately for anyone they can't allow it to subside and confront the anxiety heads on.

I have made a blog for anxiety sufferers where you'll be able to find tips and tricks of how to challenge the anxiety and focus on what you really want.

www.beckybowerenspiller.wordpress.com

The blog in itself covers everything from relationships and anxiety, self esteem and confidence issues, to being able to relabel the anxiety and tips of how to relax and get yourself back to how you were before the anxiety took a hold on your life.

I really do wish you the best of luck and hope you find peace.

All the best,
Becky x

[Truedirection]

I'm in the place where I want to meet someone but find it hard to make relationships work. It's always hard starting something new and not knowing how to tell the other person. For fear of rejection etc. Being judged and labelled as not normal. Plus it's hard to find someone that is ok with not having as much contact. I feel comfortable with 3 times a week seeing someone. The rest if the time I like my own space. As I get older I'm finding it increasingly hard to find anyone that might seem compatible! as well as anyone who understand what i live with day to day.

[kittikat]

Plus it's hard to find someone that is ok with not having as much contact. I feel comfortable with 3 times a week seeing someone. The rest if the time I like my own space. As I get older I'm finding it increasingly hard to find anyone that might seem compatible! as well as anyone who understand what i live with day to day.

I get exactly where you are coming from Truedirection, I have been with my partner for a few years now but I just cannot commit to any more than 3 days a week...he understands my 'issues' and it seems to work for us.....so there is hope, don't give up!!

Kitti

[Truedirection]

Ha thanks Kitti. Yes I still have hope maybe some day!