So I have problems with panic, especially going out places. I'm in therapy and working on stretching my comfort zones. I have a friend who lives about 40 mins away from me and I've met him a couple of times at a shopping mall about 20 mins from me a bit longer for him. This is difficult but we've gone to the cinema a few times and I've got through it so I'm starting to feel 'ok' with it, still anxious but manageable.
So we were planning on going to see the new avengers film at the usual cinema we go to but then somewhere he just mentions a place nearer him but an hours train journey from me! This is something that is so out of my comfort zone, I haven't been on a train for years since I went past my destination, haven't been to the place itself in ages and don't know my way around at all! But I've explained to him before about my anxiety, when we were meant to be going to the cinema the first time I explained I wasn't ready for sitting in a cinema for 2 hours but I eventually got there with a bit of encouragement but now it's like he's pushing me again! I don't think this is his intention but I just feel so pressured and even just looking at the train times has my heart pounding. I've just been 'going along' with it, but I really just can't see myself going it feels like too much, the train then he's suggested a meal after the cinema then shopping aarrghhh I just want to cry because I'd love for it to be simple for me to just jump on a try and have a day out with a friend but it's so not but I can't be bothered to explain AGAIN. I found it embarrassing enough the first time explaining that at 25 years old I can't go places. I hate opening up to people anyway so to have to do it again and explain that while I've made progress it's STILL an issue for me feeling very frustrated obviously, I know I owe him an explanation but honestly I just want to run away and avoid him