Anyone else lost trust in people?

[theharvestmouse]

I've lost trust in a lot of people now, its sad but I have very little faith in people in general partly because of the number of times I've been hurt, apart from my close family and a handful of other people.

On top of all the anxiety I have a real problem with people and am distancing and withdrawing myself more and more which I know is a bad thing. Its like I have come to expect nothing from people as any time when I have hoped that things were looking up its come back to bite me.

Yes you can't judge people the same but I've been worn down and I don't know if I will ever heal again properly. I'm so negative but when I do try to break out it just seems to go wrong.

[LittleMissSleepy]

It's hard isn't it harvestmouse. I too have lost trust in people, not just 'friends/aquaintances' but those who are supposed to be there to help us in times of need/trouble. All this leads to further anxiety. I've become a recluse too and now only have 1 true friend to stay safe, as others often have a hidden agenda.

[eight days a week]

I have my friend, but the only conclusion I can come to is that I need to both toughen up and surround myself with better people, and so that is what I'm trying to work towards now.

[theharvestmouse]

I've run out of ideas now.

[eight days a week]

Mouse, how about looking to meet and discuss things with people that you are not so 'straightjacketed' to, if you know what I mean? (What I do mean is people so close to you like friends and family that you can never get away from). I've done it with people from here, and once it didn't work out, but mostly it has, and after all that's all part of the learning curve

[theharvestmouse]

I don't understand what you mean eightdays. Can you explain it a bit more?

[Anxious_gal]

Ya I'm very untrusting . But my friends are beyond amazing .
But they really don't know how to handle my anxiety and to be honest I don't either .

[eight days a week]

I mean to say, how about connecting with people a bit further away from the people you already know?

Our friends and family are tied to us (however much we may not like it!!) and so they are not always the best people to talk to, perhaps.

Have you tried reaching out to people?

[kittikat]

I don't think it's easy to form bonds with 'people' when you suffer from anxiety related problems. For me, I can never totally commit myself to 'friends' as I like my own space and I can't make plans to go out as I either just can't do it or I end up cancelling at the last minute. People and so called friends just backed off and stopped asking eventually anyway. I think it's unfair to have 'expectations' of others as they do not understand what we go through day to day, but that's ok for me, I really don't expect others to understand anyway. If they are true friends, they will accept you with any issues you may have anyway, like your family do. The problem comes when you feel alone or lonely in your world....I'm really not sure what the answer is then. I am quite happy being 'me' and enjoy my own company to a certain extent. I think eight days a week speaks wise words...reach out to people here who feel the same as you, it could just change your perception and bring a little something to your life.

Kitti

[theharvestmouse]

Eight days, yes I have made an effort to do that but it can make things worse because I have tried to do social things despite my anxiety but then I meet people and when I try to develop things it all goes wrong.

Kittikat, I like my own company and don't have a problem spending time alone but sometimes it hits me how unhappy I am, and that's when I usually come on here to vent my frustration. I suppose my personality means that I just find it incredibly difficult to do whatever other people do to develop relationships.