Is this my OCD?

[StupidBrain]

I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this worry? I can't tell if its OCD or normal behaviour anymore!

I was speaking to someone a couple of months ago who knows someone where I work. They asked me what I thought of them and I said I had mixed views about them - that they were excellent at their work and very talented at teaching but at I found them to be quite unapproachable. At this point they told me that this person was a very good friend of theirs. I did some back tracking and said (this was honest) that they had inspired me to choose the career path that I had, but there were often times when I'd walk past them in a corridor and I'd go to say hello and they would keep walking, eyes ahead.

Anyway, the person who was the subject of the convo is very talented in their field of expertise and as I was applying for jobs in that field, I asked them to be a reference. Anyway, I went for an interview the other day at a place which is a big fan of his and they apparently contacted him to ask about me. He gave me a good reference and as a result I got the job.

So then I started to worry about what I had said to the other guy, and have been feeling really guilty and anxious when I think about it which is roughly every 10 minutes. I bumped into the friend today with some other business and happened to mention this mutual acquaintance had effectively got me the job and they replied 'so he's not such a bad guy after all'. Now I'm pretty sure thats what he took from our first conversation. I'm paranoid that he would have told his friend and the anxiety is running around and around in my head. I don't know what to do - I feel like contacting the first guy and asking him not to say anything but that would make it more likely to happen. The worry has somehow taken away all the pleasure from having got my dream job.

Is this what normal people feel when they've messed up or do they shrug it off? Is this just a part of my OCD?

Any advice is gratefully received, sorry for the long winded story!

[debbsi]

I think this is your OCD, the negative thought is stuck in your head and your compulsion is to seek reassurance. I would be exactly the same - but a person without OCD would probably not think anything of it. Most people would welcome some constructive criticism, which is what it was - not an insult just an observation. At the end of the day you got the job, so the person must think a lot of you.

Try to avoid seeking reassurance - it will just reinforce your anxiety, try to let the thought go, when it enters your head, dont give it any attention, just try to distract yourself with an activity. Eventually the thought will go xx

[StupidBrain]

Thank you Debbsi

Sorry for the late reply. Your words really have helped me snap out of it. I didn't realise at the time but one of my other big OCD worries had taken a back seat and maybe my reaction to the whole situation was just another outlet for my anxiety.

I feel like there's always something that I will worry about! Different problem, same cause!