I think my stress and anxiety levels leapt up when I got together with my fiancee as she is very highly strung and tense herself. I've often thought "if I leave her, I might be lonely and depressed but atleast I'll be able to calm down a bit".
I suppose two anxious people together is like a couple having a cold sore- they keep passing it back and too amongst each other.
Recently, I've been calming down a bit anyway and I've noticed her beginning to relax. So, whereas before there was lots of shouting and tears and I've been shouting at her to relax (!), I'm now beginning to realise that if I can help her to relax and to be positive it's going to help me too.
It's not easy because she's not very open to self-help and she feels very self-conscious, but I think it's the way forward.
We went to a spa at Butlin's last year and had a great time. I've just found a reasonably priced local one (re-aqua.co.uk) and I'm hoping that we'll be able to go there every 6 weeks or so and have a massage and a facial. Isn't it wierd how most of us dismiss 'beauty treatments' as the preserve of the rich and pampered, when massages are such great stress-relievers?
I can really visualise us both being really relaxed and being so much more affectionate and giggly with each other!
I'm excited about it, I think it can really change our relationship for the better. Since we've go together she's had to put up with so much from me and she's looks so much more stressed.
Another good thing is that we've both suddenly started developing outside interests and that takes the burden off hanging around together feeling bored and dissatisfied and dragging each other down.
I have dreaded going away on holiday with her because she worries so much about everything that she's bound to make me feel anxious, but that is something that i would like to overcome.
Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.
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