Sick at thought of returning to work

[millym]

Ive been off with work related stress for 10months after being talked to like a piece of crap from guy at work. Employer says that 'they've come to end of line' with what they can do - which was basically listening to the guys story and deciding that it was a 'my word -v- his situation despite me having witnesses - he liked having an audience however, I don't want to drag them into it. I've sorted myself out a bit with counselling, exercise,et etc but feel I HAVE to go back because I've lost so much confidence that I'm at rock bottom and don't feel I've anything to offer to a new job, never mind even going to interview. The upshot is that, as my employers have done nothing, then I just go back to work - with same person - and get on with it?? How do I deal with colleagues, ESP when they don't care, just looking for more bait to gossip about, it's seriously enough to make me quit

[K1rsty]

Do you have a occupational health Department you could speak to?? Or do you belong to a union? xx

[millym]

Do you have a occupational health Department you could speak to?? Or do you belong to a union? xx

Hi, yes been to OH twice but they see the situation as being insoluble as there is no working relationship between me and the bully. Union have been useless

[K1rsty]

Really? That is so bad re the union. I really do feel for you. Can I ask what line of work you are in?? Could they not offer you a job in another dept? Maybe go to citizens advice?? Sorry I am not much help xx

[millym]

Really? That is so bad re the union. I really do feel for you. Can I ask what line of work you are in?? Could they not offer you a job in another dept? Maybe go to citizens advice?? Sorry I am not much help xx

Thanks for caring, just good to get it off my chest The work is local authority admin but in a small office, no hiding place What makes it worse is that the bully is so sly and manipulative that I feel even worse thinking what she's been telling my colleagues

[stuart39]

sounds like the classic passive aggressive type. you say something back and they will accuse you of being over sensitive! you cant win with these idiots.

i wonder how you feel about trying to turn the tables on them. I dont mean you turn into a bully but could you be just as sly and manipulative back to them in a way that they get the message not to keep bothering you?

ive been in situations where shock tactic can sometimes work if theyve worked with you for years and think youre the quiet one and they can say anything to you and you wont bat an eyelid. I hate people like this - they dont do it to confident ballsy outgoing types and I dare say you would see evidence of that around the office.
like you said they like an audience backdrop too-their quips and veiled remarks dont have the same impact if its just them and you so you look stupid to the others around at the time.

why should this A-hole stop you from going to work and earning your living? No way should it be like that. Its them that should get the boot or quit.

however the more sensible side of me would do this; if you havent already then try and keep a diary and write down times dates and what was said. build up a record of the bullying - why not keep you mobile phone close by and if you sense the bully is about to start on you surrupticiously switch on your voice recorder facility and record what they say-thats prima facie evidence. you have already informed the company and basically they think its them v you. now if you present this evidence and the diary and they still side with the bully i would be seeking legal advice. the company could be liable if they negligently handle or fail to handle youre complaint in accordance with prescribed conditions laid down in employment law. they might be failing in their duty of care to an employee. whether the bully has a personal liability i dont know but i suspect the employer is the one in the chair for a claim under employment practices liability. for physical injuries an employee owes a duty of care to fellow employees so why should it be any different for mental injury or causing distress? does he only bully you or do you know anybody else in the office thats suffered at his hands? two heads are better than one and that doubles up on the evidence.


how long has this all been going on for? i see you havent been at work for 10 months but just before you went on the sick how long was this guy harassing you? is the guy still working at the company? in 10 months he might have been promoted to another office or found new employment? might be worth finding out as you could be worrying for nothing