2 cupcakes.....

[laura442]

ive had agoraphobia this time for 2years...will only go out with my partner but not far. I got a bike because I thought ill be sitting down (scared of passing out when i stand up) and also thought if I panic I can get back quicker ! I know most of you will understand that !
Anyway, so the suns out today right ? I wonder how many of you (us) are sitting there thinking about how lovely it would be to out and about in the sun and thinking about all the people that ARE out enjoying ourselves and beating ourselves up for our illness !
So today i bit the bullet...I was shaking I was panicking but I thought ok just go to the end of the road....well I ended up going around a few roads actually (not fast scared of anything that makes my heart race) the sun on my skin felt beautiful !!!!
I met a little girl who was selling cakes outside her house...i rode home to get some money and back out again and bought 2 cakes from her. Her mum came out (social anxiety) i thought here we gooooo thank god i was sitting on my bike ! I had a little chat with her and im back home now. It would sound nothing to "normal people" would it ? But a little bit of sun...a little bit of hope and I had conversation with 2 people too.....so dont think to yourself like i did whats the point of walking to the end of the road....at the end of your road there could be a rainbow a pot of gold, cupcakes or maybe just a little bit of hope. I actually believe now we are all capable of more it just takes huge amounts of bravery on our part.
Love to you all xxxxx

[Mr Brownstone]

You need to do this again tomorrow.And the day after that. Get used to it, it'll start to feel more normal and you'll gain confidence from it.

[PanchoGoz]

Excellent Laura! It's so nice to see some positivity! The sun brings me out into the world again too - doing some gardening, getting in touch with nature again.
Beating agoraphobia is the most rewarding task ever

[kittikat]

Well done Laura, that's brilliant thank you for sharing such a lovely story and giving us ag sufferers a little hope.

And Mr Brownstone is so right, go out again, and again, and agan.....that is the key to success, so they say....

Kitti

[flossie]

Well done Laura. Enjoy the cakes and keep up the good work.
It is so nice to hear of someone who has had a good day.

[angel wings]

Ahh what a lovely post and great that you went ahead and done it im really pleased for you and it made me smile keep going with the getting out

my talk therapist said i have to face the fear for at least twenty minutes when going out and do the same thing repeatedly so my brain gets used to not fearing am trying but it is hard !!!

but well done you xx

[laura442]

Brownstone - thank you I will do it again tomorrow !

Pancho - its my first positive day for years I can assure you and well done you for getting out in the garden theres also a link between vitamin d defiency and depression so evry little helps i guess !

Kittikat- Thank you and its the least I can do if I can help myself and help one person in the process i would be so happy !

Flossie - thank you and i would never eat food someone else has made all to do with my HA and i even made myself eat half a cake and guess what I was ok ! small steps x

Angelwings - Thank you..have you been doing your 20 mins ? Yes its hard..its bloody hard and bloody scary but the results are so worth doing it I actually feel like ive lived a bit of a life today and I never thought id say that !

Love to you all from the bottom of my heart xxxx

[angel wings]

hi laura

ive been trying too....thing is she wants me to go out alone and i usually have my family with me but have tryed to do it as much as i can she said i need to rate my anxiety before going out while im out and when i get back to see what my pattern is
im going to keep it up as seems a logical solution it just anxiety can get the better of you sometimes,but your right when you do something which you think you couldnt do it gives you a great sense of achievement and you can live your life !!!
had a good day today though doing the garden and went out this afternoon xx

[kittikat]

ive been trying too....thing is she wants me to go out alone and i usually have my family with me but have tryed to do it as much as i can she said i need to rate my anxiety before going out while im out and when i get back to see what my pattern is
im going to keep it up as seems a logical solution it just anxiety can get the better of you sometimes,but your right when you do something which you think you couldnt do it gives you a great sense of achievement and you can live your life !!!

This is exactly where I am with my therapy ATM.....but she wanted me to stay out for 45 minutes....I only managed 20, so we are going for a half an hour compromise this week

[laura442]

How are you all getting on ?
I went out for 45 mins tonight....not far just across the road. Luckily I have a beach across the road so I just sat on a bench there. I dont feel too bad when Im sitting (fear of fainting) everyone says Im doing well but I got really upset at one point watching people walking along laughing and joking and just enjoying the sunshine. I hate getting hot again again worried about fainting so I cant even enjoy the sunshine. I just feel sick of it all today...I wont give up though x