ive had agoraphobia this time for 2years...will only go out with my partner but not far. I got a bike because I thought ill be sitting down (scared of passing out when i stand up) and also thought if I panic I can get back quicker ! I know most of you will understand that !
Anyway, so the suns out today right ? I wonder how many of you (us) are sitting there thinking about how lovely it would be to out and about in the sun and thinking about all the people that ARE out enjoying ourselves and beating ourselves up for our illness !
So today i bit the bullet...I was shaking I was panicking but I thought ok just go to the end of the road....well I ended up going around a few roads actually (not fast scared of anything that makes my heart race) the sun on my skin felt beautiful !!!!
I met a little girl who was selling cakes outside her house...i rode home to get some money and back out again and bought 2 cakes from her. Her mum came out (social anxiety) i thought here we gooooo thank god i was sitting on my bike ! I had a little chat with her and im back home now. It would sound nothing to "normal people" would it ? But a little bit of sun...a little bit of hope and I had conversation with 2 people too.....so dont think to yourself like i did whats the point of walking to the end of the road....at the end of your road there could be a rainbow a pot of gold, cupcakes or maybe just a little bit of hope. I actually believe now we are all capable of more it just takes huge amounts of bravery on our part.
Love to you all xxxxx