ok how do i start let me get it out my system first wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooo
omg omg omg i did it....[8D][8)]
ok here goes i traveled to walse yesturday and it was about 2 and a half hours to get there took us 3 hours or more due to the car wheel needing air and had somethink to eat (oh yes i eat in a service station) i keept getting anxoius and thinking why did i do this but i sat in the car talking to my sis and bro in law and i controlled it i just thougth i am going to feel anxious no matter what so i am still going to do the things i want well try...
we got there at conwy and decided to go to penmaenawrs i use to go there as a child my uncle use to live there it was lovely to reminise with my sister and act like a 6yr old again running on the pebbles (lol) kept my trainers on and stood on the wave breaker on the big round bit and shouted im on top of the world (all you who know me could imagine me doing the crazy stuff lol)
after i had my 6 yr old time we went to besty-coed and meet my mom and dad there my dads face lite up when he saw me and my moms they were so proud made me feel good glade they realiseing how hard it has been for me..
comeing back i was so tired but i couldnt sleep in the car i just kept thinking omg i have just been to wales ..
we hit traffic wich is not my best thing but i was fine anxious could swallow but i stayed calm and it passed with in 5 mins..
i had my first ad bag lol with diazepan in for big emergencys as i dnt take meds and not used diazepan for 6 months and had calm drops and my calming roller to put on my pulse it relaxes you and really good
and i didnt use any of them but today i am so tired mite be because i went to pud last nite i thougth why stop there lol.. oh and no signal to fone anyone most of the day i cnt belive how well i did and coped [Wow!]
well my group sessions start soon i am on the up i hope we can and will beat this with time and support
[:P]
if you got this far well done and am suprised you not fallen asleep lol
as much as i am proud of myself only thing that gets me down is not walking on my own yet but i will do it... thankyou for reading
lots of love and hugs
emily xxxxxxxxx
if it looks like it works and feels like it works then it works!!!