Breaking the cycle

[sophieunderscore]

I found this and I hoped it would prove helpful to someone in the forum. It's from a book and it's their suggested first step to breaking the vicious circle of health anxiety.

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"Learn not to ask for reassurance"

At times we all need reassurance about our health. Many medical consultations consist of the doctor reassuring the patient that they have nothing to worry about. Talking over worries with friends and family can also be very reassuring...

HOWEVER... too much reassurance means

- You become preoccupied with your health
- You no longer believe the reassurance, needing more and more to reduce the worry.
- You look to others to reassure you, when it is more helpful to reassure yourself.

And most importantly, most people who are worried about their health say that reassurance doesn't work. Most of the time it even makes things worse. Also, if you keep on seeing the doctor, you may be sent for more and more tests, which might not be neccessary and may make you more worried.

"How to stop asking for reassurance"

Everytime you feel very worried about your health, try not to ask for help from anyone else. For example do not ask your partner or family about yourself. If you do, ask them to help you by not reassuring you, maybe by changing the subject if you start talking about the state of your health. This may make you feel worried in the short term, so try and find another way of coping with the worry. One very good way is to keep your mind off your worries by doing something else such as going for a walk, cleanig the house, doing a hobby you enjoy, or reading. Find something that works for you so that you can become busy with something else when you are tempted to talk and worry about your health.

Keeping a record of how often you ask for for reassurance my be helpful. (they suggest keeping a chart of how many times you asked for help and then how worried you felt on a scale of 0-10) If you are not given reassurance you will find that you gradually ask for it less often. In other words you are also worrying less often.

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I really help this helps, my health anxiety is slowly getting better and I can honestly say doing this helped - I know it won't for everyone but it's a start. I know how easy it is just to ask for reassurance but the more you do the more you keep the anxiety around. You also have to remember if those close to you truely believed you were ill they would take you to the doctors or call an ambulance.

[Daisybun]

Thanks Sophie this sounds like a good idea, don't know if i can do it but I'll definitely keep it in mind

Take care
Daisybun

'This too will pass'

[Sazziesaz]

Hi,

Everything in that article is correct!! That is the way to recovery, but it is so hard to do!! I am trying to do that and it was working but over the last two weeks I have noticed that I have really full blown slipped back into my seeking reasurrance ways!! Even ending up in A&E at 4.00am on sunday morning thinking I was having a heart attack!! That was how badly I had slipped back into reassurance needs! I didn't believe my husbands/friends or even my GP's reassurance. Of course now I feel really stupid!

But this is a great posting and I totally believe it! Needing reassurance and seeking it just breeds more need and more anxiety, it is a vicious circle!!

Sarah x

[sophieunderscore]

Thanks for your replies I'm glad you found it helpful.

I've just found the link to the book it came from and I highly highly reccomend it, it's only 28 pages long but it's the best £2.50 I've ever spent! I read it and thought... it's like they're writing about me! My parents also found it very helpful to read

Here is the link

http://oxdev.com/catalog/product_inf...8dde38f835d73b

[manmoor]

Hi Sophie,

Thank you so much for that it came at just the right time for me .

Thank You

Mandy

xx

[lewis_k]

never thought of it that way but it's so clear, reassurance is like a drug; the more you get, the more you want, and the less potent it becomes. often wondered how people who have had thousands of tests done can still be convinced they have something; but i look at myself (perhaps at an early stage in my health anxiety) after having gone to the doctor twice thinking i had cancer for two completely different reasons and coming home relieved thinking i wouldn't make that mistake again, and now i want the doctor's reassurance again. if i let this cycle continue, indulging my dependence on reassurance from outside myself (and inside?) it will only get worse.
it's completely different than the thing i was trying to do before, almost the opposite, of humoring my anxieties to the point that they become discredited and then naturally go away. it seems easier to do that, because my mind doesn't like it when i tell it to just "change the subject", it finds that repressive. but it's repressing me! so no more mister nice-guy; i will insist that it shut up, without humoring its logic (which will be hard because it's so persuassive), but maybe it will eventually learn to shut up.
slight problem: i already scheduled a doctor appointment for tomorrow; i originally intended to talk about my anxiety, my calf-muscle thing, and getting as many medical tests as possible... now maybe i'll keep it to anxiety. even though the calf-muscle thing bothers me, logic dictates that it's nothing.. maybe i will at least mention it. but i don't know if i should have tests done; on the one hand hard medical evidence would be a huge blow to my cancer-fear's integrity, but medical test results can be misleading and ultimately show a lot of things and make it all more stressful than necessary (unless a doctor considers it necessary), and what's more i would be feeding my reassurance-addiction.
well, thank you for the great advice. sorry i wrote so much,
lewis

[lewis_k]

i think in the heat of the moment i may have partially misinterprated what Sophie quoted. avoiding outside reassurance does not mean avoiding the problem itself. the problem should be confronted and rationalized. need for reassurance causes us to be dependent upon outside factors, and for this instability we always want more; ie from friends, doctors, tests, other doctors, more tests and so on. in avoiding outside reassurance we are more capable of confronting our fears and stabalizing ourselves.
perhaps when we are not reliant on what other people tell us, that broken mechanism inside us that tells us, "don't worry, it's not serious" can be fixed.
thanks again,
lewis

[jackie]

im in total agreement with sarah on htis one, your right it is so the way to freedom but so hard to do

i never ask for reassurance of family or friends but the docs and occasional runs to a&e are not things of the past yet

your so right though . one day

jackie

[Humly]

I really wish that I could do it. It is so difficult for me not to go running down to the doctors with every ache and pain but sometimes I just seem to tie myself in knots dwelling on my symptoms. I know its good advice but hard to put into practice. I suppose coming on this site can be classed as reassurance seeking but I would rather be here than bothering other people.

[Two heads]

Sounds good to me!But im deaf at the moment and caut help but worry!xxx