HIV phobia/ocd

[Ruby8]

I'm in the middle of a HIV panic attack. I've been told by the National Aids Helpline that I should grab a glass of wine and sit in the sun as I have not put myself at risk so why am I still thinking that I have and that I need a test to put my mind at rest? I have battled for 14years with this phobia, so depressed. X

[nomorepanic]

Hi Ruby8

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[MatthewJames]

Hi there,

I used to suffer from this phobia and can really relate to what you have said. I thought that I would never work my way through it but I did. For me the answer was anti depressants to combat my OCD and CBT support. The medication was what made the change for me. Hope this helps

[JustJames]

Hi Ruby8,

I'm sorry you are feeling so depressed. Please don't ever think that you won't get over this though, you will. Although I do not have your exact phobia (my phobia is a feeling of going mad or losing control when I'm outside because of anxiety and panic) I do know how it feels to have negative thought patterns and habits. Can I ask if you have ever tried meditation or cbt? These can be very helpful.

James

[Ruby8]

I'm on Paroxetine and just this week because of the anxiety my doc gave me Propanelol (which helps). I've had CBT in past and have thought I'd cracked it but it comes back at me with a vengeance. How can I rid myself of this forever? I'm thinking the only way is to be single and never get involved but this sounds so sad.
x

[JustJames]

I don't know a huge amount about medication although I am on venlofaxine for my anxiety for years, but if you feel your meds aren't working perhaps another trip to the doctor can help? In regard to being single what you're feeling is very normal in the circumstances. I am in a not very happy or constructive relationship myself at the moment, and think I would be happier being single again. You can rid yourself of this though believe me. I did recently find an excellent book, and I hope it's ok for me to mention it on the forum without getting in trouble. It's The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I can't tell you how it has helped me to see my problems in a more positive and realistic light, I can't recommend it enough. It's very spiritual but in a very down to earth way.

Sorry to ramble on, but if I were you I would do the following:

1. Go and see your doctor again and tell them how you are feeling
2. Get regular exercise
3. Try some light meditation exercises
4. Get regular sleep
5. Confide in a friend and let them support you, don't feel to proud to talk about it
6. Check out the mindgym website, it's really good to get these feelings off your chest

Hope this helps Ruby x

[Ruby8]

thanks for your wise words James. When I am this low the fear paralyses me and I cannot move from either my bed or the sofa. Everything you say is totally the best thing to do but until I have a test and get a negative result NOTHING will change as everything feels so helpless. x

[Mr Brownstone]

What makes you think you have it? Surely you've been tested by now?

[Ruby8]

Hi Mr Brownstone. This current worry is from an encounter I had last weekend, even though I know I'm not at risk, the irrational part of my brain takes over and I get swamped with fear. I can go for the 10 day test next week but meanwhile every day feels like a year.

[Mr Brownstone]

ive kinda been there. Had that fear about 7 years ago, but only based on the one encounter. Not had it since but i know how brutal it can be. Constant panic, just thinking of ways it could have happened even though you know its a million to one chance, you think you're that "one". Does it happen every time you have sex with someone, or just someone new?