After getting thru a very tough day out at the theatre yesterday with family (which included numerous minor panics). Was texting a friend this morning about my terrifying day yesterday (who knows my anxiety / social / eating out phobia - but not about now possible agoraphobia) & she asked if I wanted to go to a quiet country pub / restaurant not far from me tonight - so I said let's give it a go (have been there before with reluctance & with a bit of wine dutch courage beforehand)
We started talking times & she said can meet you the at 7pm - I got anxious feelings about going there by myself to meet her so I texted back that i was anxious & asked her if she could pick me up so I could have dutch courage beforehand & we go together.
She texted back that I was miles away from the pub (am just 5 mins away) don't know whether she was joking or serious at the time) so I texted back that I would give her petrol money.
About 3 hours after that she texted back that to be honest she wouldn't mind leaving it as she had thumping headache & would call me over the weekend.
I replied okay no problem was sorry I was hard work (which we've joked about before) & wish I could click my fingers & be how i was when we used to go out and that she felt better soon
I've known her for over 20 plus years & she always includes me on big nights out with the girls (restaurant followed by pubs followed by nightclubs) who I used to go out with in my early twenties even though she knows that on the night I will back out.
I think she's really annoyed with me after todays texts & now feel really guilty, a rotten friend & low