glad to be home

[gem7]

i went away on firday just came back today so glad i am home again so i can just hide my anxiety was so bad there i was trying my best to cope but couldnt my birthday was yesterday i tryed to enjoy it the best i could i went to butlins minehead i swear people could tell i feel that this is ruining my life and i hate it

[teez]

but you did it though be proud hun its not easy being brave is it

[gem7]

no its not easy i.m proud i did it got to try to learn to handle crowds again but at this rate i feel like there is no hope of me getting any better i just feel like its winning lol

[Smiffy3594]

I felt exactly the same way last Thursday going to the theatre in London for my 40th birthday - Ive been told the thing to remember is that I made it through the day - and you made it through which is a great achievement.

I had many minor anxiety attacks during my day out & like you at the time felt that everyone could tell but my family assured me that they couldn't tell if I hadn't told them I panicked many times during the day

It will take time to overcome the anxiety (have you spoken to your doctor or tried CBT) I think you did amazing going away for a weekend - I am nowhere near that stage & admire you for getting through it

I'm a long term agoraphobic / social phobic and for years & years have just given into anxiety & panic attacks but recently decided i need to conquer this & get my life back have started on citalopram (meds aren't for everyone) and been referred for CBT

Don't give up you are doing great take each day as it comes & Happy Bithday for yesterday

[BobbyDog]

Well done for getting through it Gem,

You should be very proud of yourself, you have taken a big step towards independence, don't look back, carry on!!!!

The paranoia thing, I get that too, when out in public, but am told that people are only interested in their own lives, so don't worry too much.

[gem7]

i havent tryed cbt my family dont really understand i hardly ever leave the house much i mostly stay in as when i.m out i feel like i.m being judged and stared at but my sister booked that break to take me away for my birthday i also found it very hard just walking around but i did it just hope oneday i can beat this and become my old self again

[messianictalmud]

Hi Gem7

You could maybe consider making an appointment with your GP to discuss your anxieties and ask about cbt.
If you do see a cbt therapist they may have leaflets for your family to read, or get them to look on the nmp website.

Good luck

[gem7]

thanks for the advice if i asked about cbt i heard there is a waiting list for that tho is that right i think if u gave my family a leaflet they still wouldnt understand lol

[Smiffy3594]

My family didn't know the full extent of my long term anxiety / social phobia & agoraphobia until very recently (last week) my mum would always say everyone gets butterflies !! And I think my sister & dad never really concerned themselves with it as they probably thought the same as my mum.

I explained to them that it's much more than butterflies it's terrifying & explained how i felt in detail when i have an anxiety/ panic attack. like you apart from work i stay at home on the very rare occasion when I do manage to go out majority of the time I can't eat or drink anything because of the fear & I was totally blown away how supportive & understanding they were.

My doctor has referred me to an organisation called talking therapy in Berkshire - got my first session by phone on monday - don't know where you are in the uk maybe there is similar in your area - or there is an online CBT course on this site at a reasonable price.

I believe we can beat / overcome this & be as we used to be - will be long journey but it will be worth it