New Fluoxetine User - Looking for some Chat/Reassurance

[ExPerson]

Hi everyone,

I'm on day 12 of 20mg Fluoxetine, and looking to get some positive stories from users/former users about it's effects.

To explain, I'm 29 and now suffer from depression. After 27 1/2 years of a really happy, confident, and successful life, a series of life events have pushed me to a stage where I'm now a shell of my former self. In the last 2 years or so both my parents became ill (my dad having had a stroke), resulting in my dad losing his business, no longer being able to work, and being in a very precarious financial position. I myself lost a significant portion of my savings last year (on stocks/shares - stupid I know). All the while I'm trying to complete a PhD, which I've worked on for 3 years and am now, understandably, struggling to work on. This has all left me in a state of constant panic and dark thoughts where I'm forever comparing my lack of success to other people and am able to project a negative spin on almost any situation. I'm now deep in the process of failing my PhD and ruining the best relationship I've ever had. I feel like if I got some normality/clarity back in my life then I could work hard and make everything ok, but equally, if things keep on this track I could very well be broke, alone, and miserable.

I started on the Fluoxetine 12 days ago. No really terrible side affects yet apart from feeling manically anxious on occasion. I've also had quite vivid thoughts of suicide, which seem to pass after a while.

I found myself reading some of the old experiences on here about how people were feeling more normal again, etc after taking Prozac and was really heartened by them. Basically, I'd like to hear some more of that!

I'm also taking therapy now, but was really disappointed in my first couple of sessions. I thought therapy would be more targeted and direct. I thought it would be about breaking my destructive thought patterns, but right now I seem to be paying money I can't afford for someone just to listen to me (when I've got plenty of friends that would do that for free!).

I'm really struggling with things some days, and would love some reassuring stories from any one on here.

[sunshine1]

Hi! i am 33 days into my second time on fluoxetine. First time around I lost my dad suddenly and another set of circumstances threatened everything else in life.i found the med great! It helped me clarify my thinking get out of repetive anxiety and thinking and lifted my mood.

I should however, have come up with a plan for coping if I felt overwhelmed by similar anxiety etc again so here I am...
i feel that I have turned a corner in the last few days, brighter mood and reduced anxiety.

Make sure that you get plenty of rest and concentrate on getting yourself better. Is there someone you could talk to about your PHD work, that must be adding to your anxiety etc. loads.Happy to answer any other questions for you. Good luck things will improve.

[ExPerson]

Thanks for the response Sunshine. I'm trying to take reassurance from any source I can.

My anxiety is really bad today - just managed to climb out of bed now (despite being awake since 5.45am) and my heart is actually pounding at the thought of going to the shop for lunch - never mind sitting down to work on my PhD. I've tried to take practical steps with the PhD and am trying to get a 3 month sabbatical and get a low stress job in a pub for a while. But, even the process of filling in paperwork and putting together a CV is proving tough.

I'm currently living with my girlfriend, and this situation has put extreme pressure on our relationship. There's talk of me having to move out - something I cannot afford to do to be honest. Basically I have no solid foundations under me, and it puts me in a constant state of panic.

I'm almost 2 weeks in with the Fluoxetine now and feel like it just has to work in the next 2 weeks or so. I'm almost broken with it all today.

[ExPerson]

Ooft. Stomach pains and sickness after eating lunch today. Any one else had these side effects, and how long did they last?

[sunshine1]

You are having a horrible time!
I found it really hard to do things like organise myself when I am feeling low and anxious. My symptoms started to improve around 4 week mark. it is hard trying to be patient for it to kick in but hang on to the fact that you will feel better.

Re girlfriend, would it be helpful for her to read about anxiety on this website? It is hard to explain to others and for them to understand. my mum read the info on here and found it helpful.

If anxiety is overwhelming you, may be worth going back to doc as they may be able to give you something to help with the anxiety short term.
It is really common for people on this med to feel worse before they feel better! Remember plenty rest! I have some anxiety today and am sure it was because i didn't sleep well and have a nap yesterday. Doc has signed me off work for 10 days. Take good care of you, make sure you are eating well. x

---------- Post added at 19:51 ---------- Previous post was at 19:41 ----------

Also,think about some relaxation and breathing exercises. i found some on NHS website which were simple enough for me to follow!
My tummy has been bit iffy but think it has lots to do with my being anxious, would suggest palin food...

Let us know how you are getting on.x

[ExPerson]

Thanks for your responses Sunshine. I was just about to come on here and let you know that I was doing much better today BUT I just found out that my PhD supervisor is leaving to take up a new post in 3 months and it's completely pulled the rug from under me. He was the only one in my department that understood my situation, and now I'm going to be passed on to someone else. It seems clear to me that I'm going to fail and waste 3 years of my life. I have very little career experience outside this and feel like my career is over before it began. I am so panicked and low right now that I'm worried about doing something silly to myself.

[ExPerson]

Yep, this is pretty much exactly how I feel Brightspark. Like I want to run away or, better yet, turn back time. I'm actually amazed that my previously successful life has come to this.

[ExPerson]

Thanks for the encouraging words brightspark. I'm caught between trying to take time out to get my head clear or trying to work through it. I'm in such a tight financial situation that I really need to get it done as quickly as possible. I felt like I had real support from my supervisor, but now he's leaving and I feel like whoever takes over will be amazed at how little quality work I have. I've been trying to rewrite an introduction today - something that should be easy - but I'm completely freaking out and it's utterly impossible. I have so much left to do and very little time/money left to do it in. It feels like I've tied everything up in this PhD and now it's going to shit. My recovery was going ok, but this has totally derailed me today.

[traggicvix!]

please please go to the doctors asap and get ur doses uped ! it has worked 4 me and i really hope it helps u i wudnt wish those side effects on any1 x good luck x there is light at the end of the tunnel literally in 24 hours x let me know how u get on x

[ExPerson]

Going to see the doc on Friday. That'll be me 16 days in on 20mg. Not sure upping things is the right idea. I'd like to see this out until week 4-5 to see if improvements happen.