Hi guys,
Just wanted to check in. I'm on day 27 of Fluoxetine now, and I have to say I feel a good bit better. All of the side effects have, for the most part, gone now. I've been able to do some work this last week and managed to genuinely enjoy myself this weekend at a friends wedding. I'm still in a bit of a practical mess with work, career, finance - and with the strain this whole period has put on my relationship, but I feel better placed to handle it now. I don't know whether this is the ADs or if it's just a better period of mood happening naturally. By way of encouragement for others, I have to say that Fluoxetine does appear to be having a genuinely positive effect on me and that many of the things I was concerned about with regards to side effects have not been a problem e.g. no sexual side effects, I can still have a drink at weekends, no ridiculous mood swings. Certainly the week of anxiety I had between weeks 2 and 3 was absolutely terrible - a bit of which has been played out live on this thread! - but it appears that it was only temporary.
I'm in the process of trying to rebuild things now. Got a 6 month sabbatical from my PhD. Going to take 2 months off and work in a pub, then push to finish it over a 9 month period. Hoping that in the meantime I'll be able to repair things with my girlfriend. I'm also going for CBT some time over the next few weeks, which I hope will be helpful. I'm trying to keep a note of caution in my mind during this period - there's been times in the past where I've thought to myself 'I'm fine now, it's all over' only to become suicidal again after an instance of stress. I find that this is the way it goes for me - up and down over periods of 1-2 weeks. This is something I hope the ADs and therapy can regulate a bit more. As always, now that I'm feeling a bit better I'm left with a niggling feeling of embarrassment about how I've behaved and a worry that people who've seen me this way will think less of me. This is something I've got to work hard at dropping from my mind, because, while there may even be some truth in it, it's not a way of thinking that's going to help me - or anyone else for that matter.
I'm still far from fine and I've a lot of work to do (in every sense) before I can get myself in a better position. But, I know I'm doing the right thing now by seeking treatment. Everyone's Fluoxetine experiences seem to vary, but my one is definitely a positive one so far. I've kept a wee diary of how things have went for me over the course of taking the ADs. I think in a few weeks I'll post a new tread on here. I know that when I was debating whether to take them or not and when I was really struggling with the side effects that it really meant a lot to me to read encouraging experiences from others on here.
Good luck to everyone.