Fear of causing harm

[Lizzie73]

I'm hoping that others might be able to give me some positive insight into this. I become overwhelmed with the fear that I could become out of control and hurt someone, usually my family. Its almost always a thought of stabbing, and I don't know why because I've not had any experience related to that. It's at it's worst when I am alone with my step daughter, as I am tonight. When it's really bad I start to think about how to run away, be locked away, or how I could tell her to run for safety. I think about the shame it would bring on my family and how I would lose my husband. I've thought how I would have to kill myself if I ever did anything like that. It's awful and something that's hard to discuss, so other than my husband none of my family or friends know. It's a shameful secret, I think people would avoid me. I just want to hear if others experience this and is there any reassurance that I won't act on these horrendous thoughts.

[suzy-sue]

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=115318

Hi Lizzie the above link has posts abt Harm ..hope it helps .T/c Sue x

[Anxious_gal]

Could be pure OCD , obbsessive thoughts getting stuck in your head.

[Lizzie73]

Thank you for the advice. I've ordered a couple of books recommended in the link. It's reassuring to hear others experience so similar thoughts.

[sarahmj]

Hi, sorry to hear that you are having such a bad time. I can certainly relate to this as this is how I ended up getting diagnosed with anxiety disorder. I started having these type of thoughts out of the blue, thinking things like I could kill my partner or whoever if I wanted to and I wonder what would happen if I do. It got to the point where I hated using knives, I never wanted to kill anyone it was just the thought that I could if I wanted to. I eventually confided in my Mum who practically dragged me to the doctors. After taking meds for a few weeks these thoughts started to disappear and now a couple of years later I don`t have them anymore. I found that when I was having these thoughts it helped to try and distract myself with something, going for a short walk seemed to work for me. I just wanted to let you know someone else has been through the same thing and if you want to chat feel free to send me a pm. Good luck.
Sarah

[Lizzie73]

I am really struggling today. I have been off work with a virus for the last two days, illness makes my anxiety worse. My husband is away so I've got a double dose of worry. I have been watching the clock and worrying about my step daughter coming home and having to deal with the awful obsessional thoughts I get. I've been reading The Imp of The Mind which helped on Monday, but today my perverse imp is looking for ways to prove I'm the exception to all th theory. Ive got CBT on Friday so just keep thinking I have to cope til then, all I want to do is isolate myself from the world.

[manindream]

Dear Sarah and Lizzie;

I have the same symptom's you have described in above posts. Possiblity to harm someone using some tools like knife, gun, stone, tough materials even a coffe cup, so when i see those items, i am getting anxious and feeling so bad and thinging to possiblity that whether i may hurt someone with those tools, those things are started almost 8 years before and they do not stop completely, i have used several antidepresan's and OCD medicines went to several psychiatrist and havent ended it up

So especially Sarah i would like you to share the name of the the madicine that you used and get positive results. The medicines that i have used are prozac, cipram, anafranil and lustral, i have used each of them at least 3 months and more but i havent get allright.

[neowallace]

Hi Lizzie73

I have had all these thoughts as well and they are only thoughts not nice ones mind you but still thoughts. I had a really bad time when they first came but now I know for sure I won't act on them and they can come if they want. It might be worth speaking to a Healthcare professional about them as well. I hope things improve for you but you are not alone with these thoughts apparently they are very common.

Take care

Steven ..

[johnielov]

Me too, I've experience of thinking killing my father because of anger but I know that that I can still control myself and not harm other people especially my family because in the first place I know it's not RIGHT.. so what I usually do is PRAY to God to avoid this kind of thoughts. God bless you, just pray.

[Donny]

Hi Lizzie.

This is a VERY common symptom of anxiety. Not very many of us will admit it because it seems that having these thoughts, especially about family members, is so alien and possibly verging on the seriously mentally ill.

Nothing could be further from the truth. This is just the thoughts of a very tired mind. You will NEVER harm yourself or your family. The fact that you are concerned about shows that it wont happen. No one has EVER harmed anyone else due to anxiety disorder and no one has ever "lost the plot" either.

You will be fine but it is time you took some positive action to deal with the anxiety. CBT, medication or a mix of both.

If this thought process is worrying you then be assured that it will fade as the mind trys to latch onto something else to worry you.

Keep posting here and we will all support you as much as we can.