Chickety China

[SOBAY310]

Nowadays I consider to be in pretty good condition. Like right now I'm at work and everything is good. Or I'll be at home or driving and I'm just fine. Then when I'm not thinking about much all those thoughts swarm in, such as:

-Thinking about how often you blink
-Thinking about how often you swallow
-Thinking about how many times you take a breathe

Also, it seems like the first thing I think about when I'm asked to go out of town, or to go do anything (and I'm talking fun stuff here), the first thing that pops in my head is not whether or not I want to do it, but kind of like remembering "oh ya, I'm scared of going out somewhere because I might have a panic attack". You know what I mean? It's kind of like I'm cured of anxiety but struggling at the same time. I would be interested to know how many of you are going through the same type of thing.

So what is this? Still anxiety? [:P]

Joe

“If you think growing up is tough, then you're just not grown up enough.” - Steven Page, Barenaked Ladies

[Louisey]

Hi there Joe,
I can relate to that too. Although I'm in a bit of a panicy flutter lately, due to a holiday at home Australia soon, I was previously in a quasi-cured state.
I could function without a second thought in my day-to-day activities like getting the train/tube to work, being at work and socialising with my usual group. But at the back of the mind there was always a sense of 'careful, you might panic' and I therefore stuck to a lot of my safety techniques. And there were certain things I just wouldn't do, like long car trips.
My CB therapist told me I should constantly be challenging myself and avoiding safety techniques - as it only reinforces the idea that deep, down there is something still wrong with me and the dreaded thing I fear in a panic attack might still happen.
I do wonder if I'd worked harder on her advice if I wouldn't have relapsed now...although I do have reason to be anxious as I'm about to experience a massive emotional and physical undertaking.
So yeah, I think it's still the lingering affects of anxiety - maybe you've always been a bit of a worrier and overthinker (it shows intelligence!) but you're noticing it now as part of the 'scanning' for anxiety we get into the habit of doing when coping with panic disorder.
My advice wouldbe not to worry TOO much if you catch yourself worrying (it sounds kinda crazy, but just let the worrying thougt run it's course) and gradually work up to not avoiding things or using safety techniques.
L x

[SOBAY310]

Louisey,

You really hit the nail on the head. Everything you said is how I feel. I do agree with what you/your CB therapist said about challenging yourself or else things get worse. When I'm asked to go do something, my initial reaction is to say "no" and stay in my safety net. But I've learned to continue to go out, make long drives, etc. Doing this will only make things better.

Thanks again.

Joe

“If you think growing up is tough, then you're just not grown up enough.” - Steven Page, Barenaked Ladies